Episode 71

hello and welcome to another episode of finding peaks i’m jason friesma chief clinical officer of peaks recovery centers here in colorado springs uh joined as always by my good friend chris burns president founder peaks recovery uh chris i do want you to introduce your socks uh compression what do we got going on here compression we’re looking for a little bit of runner recovery we’re training for a marathon in breckenridge here in the beginning of october and i am tossing it up to mental health so i’m doing everything i can in my power to make sure that i’m recovering appropriately and i heard that these uh compression socks are all the jams so we’re going to keep them going and i got the 80s throwback to go with it so they approved for me to wear these on the show today which i was really going to say i grew up watching guys play hoop like that uh in the 80s it was pretty cool got your larry birds on there so and then uh it is my honor to introduce eric woods client carried with peaks recovery centers i’ve had the privilege of getting to know eric and watching him work over the last couple years and there’s just something about this guy sitting on the couch and um brandon has talked about uh outcomes research but part of our outcomes research is we do client surveys and uh our clients especially our male clients almost without exception mention this man uh and the impact he’s made on on their lives and eric gets the opportunity to talk to clients not when they’re in group necessarily but just kind of when they’re hanging out and uh when they arrive also but just kind of in the between times and uh his story and and just how he approaches his work seems to impact them significantly so eric welcome i want to first welcome you and then um to whatever degree you feel comfortable i’d love for you to just kind of uh tell tell the viewers and the listeners just a little bit about yourself and your story and how you how you got here to peaks well first of all 42 years old i found myself first first of all suffering from uh man a lot of trauma from sexual abuse abandonment um and so many different issues as a child and uh shortly after i was uh falsely imprisoned as a child um so i dealt with that um then came uh gangs uh years of gangs in imprisonment uh they go hand in hand when i was 18 uh i found my best friend uh uh i felt love and a substance for the first time and with that with that substance i i traded everything that loved me i traded in the the the love and warmth of my my mother uh the connections with my siblings uh uh uh the embrace of my children uh my companies uh uh my life uh for this substance um
about three years ago me my wife coming out of jail uh found sobriety and sobriety is great i recently found when when i started working at peaks uh i found that sobriety and recovery is a world apart then they’re there night and day um within my sobriety i mean everything was okay but it was shaky man uh at any given moment anything could fall apart man uh i was only working on my sobriety you know nothing else uh coming to peaks uh i didn’t come through the program of peaks but working at peaks man i i i got to learn what recovery is um and to me recovery is
more than just your addiction you know uh addiction is just a piece of recovery when you’re in recovery you’re working on your whole life you’re working on your character defects uh you’re working on the trauma that made the monster uh that brought down the addiction uh you’re working on all of it i i spent a lifetime um believing that i was jaded first of all uh wronged from the trauma i endured the falsely imprisonment and everything else and with that i acted out in society and i’ve always thought that everyone you guys other people in society could never like me or accept me or because uh i’m big i’m black i’m a criminal i’m this i’m bad everything on everyone else and never on me and recovery i found that it wasn’t them it was actually me i got character defects uh major character defects um recovery showed me how to look at me you know i’m i was abused uh very very abused and i’ve always seen abuse you know whether it was my mom and dad abusing each other my aunts and uncles uh the community within which i lived in uh abusing each other uh it’s always abuse you know i’ve never known anything else and you know hurt people hurt people you know so i spent my life hurting people uh those around me uh my wife my my children are breaking them down beating them up i’m abusing them in every way i can i physically mentally emotionally spiritually you know um with recovery you know it it helped me through everything figured out why i was so abusive and it’s because i was so abused you know um my recovery helped me with my trauma uh it helped me pinpoint what made the animal the monster that i became um with true recovery i believe uh my belief is true recovery takes one year it takes one year of your life uh if you give true recovery one year of your life it will give you a life you’re not willing to give back and what i mean by that is if you take one year it’s one year one year of the rest of your life i mean if you spend one year uh doing anything and everything you possibly can to make that change in your life that means making the sacrifices showing up for yourself uh showing up for your recovery or your program get a sponsor do the steps okay maybe the meetings ain’t for you they’re not for everybody they work but anyone and everyone whether you’re in recovery or not could benefit from a 12-step program you don’t do anything and everything you can in order to show up for yourself and your recovery at that end of that year i believe because it happened to me recovery will give you a life you’re not willing to give back and what i mean by this is at the end of that year of you faking it until you make it you know um i never knew how to be a good man i never seen a good man you know i i never seen it so when i found recovery man i had to lie about all of it man you know i had to show up for my wife in a way i’ve never shown up for anyone like myself before you know i mean i had to act like i care and i love her and i adore her and be a good man stand up stay off social media don’t flirt with girls and change my complete character for your man affected all right man i affected all man i showed up for my recovery for a complete year at the end of that year man uh my wife is left she’s just completely in love with me and man the only thing i got to do now is show up every day for my life because at the end of that year it was just part of my life recovery became just a change of life it’s just my life now and and it’s amazing i am not willing to give this up for anything i mean so let me let me interrupt you for a second eric like i before the show we were we were talking a little bit that um you’ve been through some experiences in your 40-plus years here on earth and um i think you share with clients and you share with people that like you can find a piece of yourself in my story and i wanted to actually ask chris then specifically like what do you what do you hear in chris’s story that reminds you of you what i hear in eric’s story yeah where i say christmas story history yeah coming off a covid you know i’m sitting here listening to you man and in a lot of ways and maybe in a lesser intense way like i’ve felt like i’m not a part of and felt like i am different and felt like um because of the intensity of which i showed up in this world that i couldn’t be a part of certain cultures and certain groups and community-based resources and so that’s a huge part that i really relate to in your story is just you know the developmental process and the abuse that’s really assumed throughout that process and really the negative impacts that anchor our lives as a result and that’s why i love love recovery and we don’t have to talk about sobriety because recovery gives us that authentic opportunity to come up off of the tree branches and get down to that root yeah you know and really really treat it and repair it and that’s something so beautiful that you’ve done because you don’t show up intensely anymore you show up like you said earlier was compassion and empathy and that was something to your point jason that really struck me about eric’s story the first time i sat down and he said he sat down he said bud you’ll find yourself in my story i promise you and i’m like nobody’s ever said that i just believe that to be true in the clients um you know i was on the show two weeks ago and i said one of the greatest compliments that i get from clients is your staff really wants to be here they care they got great work-life balance it’s such a great compliment to receive but i peace has been around eight years as of september first first off i’m not sure that we ever got any feedback whatsoever in eight years in regards to a overnight staff stuff in eight years and so the impact that you have and just these meaningful moments that matter man and i know you’re on days now and you get the guys all day long and it’s beautiful but maybe you can talk to the viewers a little bit about you know in the evening when you would come in in the graveyard like that’s really where you found your foundation as a professional and really leaned in with your story to a lot of these guys and meaningful moments that matter maybe you could touch with the viewers i’m like what that meant to you in those evening hours really connected see what with the evenings to be able to connect with the clients it is funny because i suffer from social anxiety you know and to come into this job you know especially in the evenings when they’re not in group and they’re not doing this and that you know they’re there they’re present you know you the job is to connect with the clients i mean to me suffering from social anxiety man that frightened me oh right i mean such as i’m frightened sitting here now it really frightened me so to get over that what i did was instead of me going out and mingling and trying to engage with them uh i had each and every one of them individually come sit down with me and talk with me and me not being a talker such as i am now about so passionate about recovery me not being a talker what i would do is ask them a key question to get them talking you know and every time they’ll stop or slow down i had a little more of a question and with that i started to engage oh man i could relate to that let me tell you a little bit about this let me tell you what happened to me and next thing i know what mingling and we’re talking i’m connecting man i i found my calling i found my calling doing this man and inside recovery man i don’t suffer from that that social anxiety man it’s so easy to connect with them and man so far each and every one of them have been able to find their self and in my story i can relate to that rather whether you’re suffering from trauma uh sexual abuse uh addiction or abandonment uh uh whatever it may be i can relate to that i’ve been to that uh i know someone who that happened to man i feel you that man with that being said man i’m oh i’m able to
get down and have have have an intimate relationship with these guys man we we lean on each other and we cry and we cry and we laugh and we share stories and we tell tales of what we’re going to do in our recovery man and it’s amazing you know with that they go on to find their recovery and find themselves not still hear from so many of these clients daily i mean daily i’m getting calls of what they’re doing how i changed their life and how i impacted them and their family and thank you for this and think man i’ve never got this before you know i’ve i’ve always been a leader i mean i’ve always been a leader uh unfortunately i i’ve led my little homies into the penitentiary i’ve led a couple of them into the graveyard i’ve never led anyone to to freedom you know i never helped anyone get the the bondage to change off i helped put them on but never get them off man to to to see that i’m reaching these people in a way that no one in their life ever had me it’s amazing with all that i’ve done in my life man i i want to benefit people i i want to to help man i i got a lot to make up for it it took me 20 years i mean three years of recovery it looks amazing and it feels amazing man i i got a marriage that is solid man i i got my kids back and uh i got this great job that’s career-based i got people who i’ve never thought would ever have anything to do with me telling me they love me and they appreciate me in there
i’ve never been an inspiring person yeah man that feels like a warm blanket man i remember i remember they were like i remember the first time someone’s like thank you thank me chris burns what the hell i mean i’m a true i’m a true junkie man i mean i i love to get hot like i said i re i replaced everything for this substance everything my my kids my wife everything for this substance man and and now i’m replacing this substance with something else uh with with uh the possibility of change a good life man um if i’m going to do this i’m going to make it worth it yeah and that recovery thing too it feels it’s that free drug i am going to get higher life i’m going to continue to get higher and higher higher with that being said man i am making the change in my life man uh um i’m seeking therapist man to help me with with the entanglements that’s within me man uh i i’m seeking the program of recovery man i’m going out into the world and i’m making the change in my life like i said you could either be the reason of a change or a victim of change i am making the change in my life and i’m going to do more and more and more that i can to continue to get higher and higher and higher in my life and that comes you know when you start getting high on life uh your your fix comes in in the way of success you know i mean your bag is a bag of success oh man i want my bag to get bigger and bigger man yeah bigger and bigger man eric talk about how working in this role and finding your ability to ask clients questions and connect with them how has that affected your personal journey in your own recovery in the last couple years it’s the show up it it it’s the show up no one in my life has ever expected me to show up uh a man you know it’s not it’s not the age you know that makes you the man it’s the ex you know no one has ever expected me to show up a man my clients do uh my my my career dude my my recovery dude man when i get to go in there and and these guys who look up to me man for in a positive way no it’s not because i’m big homie you know me they’re looking up to me in a positive way man it’s erica sarah’s moving around like guys listen to this story man this is going on in life listen to what says what what what recovery is done for me today i mean it’s always in the recovery of my life is always something new it’s always you guys heard a year a year and some change ago it was my kids man uh then it was this and that man this this this week it’s my family you know i’m 42 years old i’ve never met my father you know a white man raised me good luck i can’t even say a good man but he’s always been there i’ve never met my biological father last week his sister which i’ve never met or heard of anything just out the blue card wow i got a little brother i got a big sister such a big family in little rock arkansas so once again in my recovery i got this she told me that about six years ago she tried to reach out to me on facebook man i was so damn high uh i slightly remember but i don’t do me oh i am in recovery i get these opportunities to have all that man to have all that to have this and and so much more man i mean i get high when i come to work and get what i get from my clients to get what i get from the the staff there man when i go home and my wife’s in love with the men i’ve became and when i’m able to show up for for my parents and and be the son that they deserve man when i am now a pillar in the same community that terrorized oh man
yeah my my mind is blowing man i want more yeah it feels too like were just scratching the surface it’s just it just meant like i said man it took me 20 years it took me 20 years man to put my life and and the destruction that it was it you know three years the recovery looks great on me it looks great on me but you know it’s going to take me 20 years to get all that back man you know uh three years look great i can’t imagine i can’t imagine what 20 is going to look like you know if i could accomplish this much in three years of recovery [  ] if i could do 20 years on drugs that could be 20 years of recovery i i i’m very intrigued on what the next 17 years have for me i saw an email speaking of the next 17 years i saw an email yesterday from dan hugh hill that had you copied on it talking about going back into a prison system and cheering some people on work i was like holy crap i said holy [  ] damn that is cool i said dan are you i told dan i said dan you got all this approved he said just come with me man they’ll give you a red bag i’m like whoa what a cool opportunity here not me and dan this this is amazing yeah this is cool me and dan on the prison yard is enemies and here we are you know coming together connecting in recovery man going back into the prison system to try to help others out
together together together this is together when when years back we would have been sticking each other man now we’re embracing each other i mean it’s amazing man it’s beautiful true recovery in your life man it is amazing i mean recovery to me i mean i’ve always known god in my life a lot of times i didn’t accept them but i’ve always known them but to have recovery it’s like finding god and him just
smothering you you know it’s an amazing feeling man i feel overwhelmed with with recovery man um my favorite my favorite uh maybe my favorite clinician in the world right now is maybe dr gabor mate and he’s just got some cutting edge stuff the way that he talks about mental health and you said earlier it’s like when you showed up at peaks you knew you were home you know and and gabor monte is famously quoted in regards to trauma as saying it’s the unalignment trauma is the unalignment of the true genuine authentic self why because it’s too painful to be that person and so tru the healing is the reconnection of the true genuine authentic self right and it just like the person sitting in front of me right now and it’s really really cool to see that and to be a part of it and to have you in my life personally and professionally just really appreciate your heart your enthusiasm your charisma you said it earlier your authenticity your willingness to be vulnerable which i think is second to none considering what you’ve walked through and you’re right we’re just scratching the surface thousands of people out there are gonna be helped by eric woods oh yeah you know it’s not gonna stop here you know i feel like i i belong in within my recovery i’ve spent 37 38 years of my life never felt like i belonged anywhere like i fit in anywhere you know like anything not even within my own family man um i’ve always figured that my life is going to end with a lifetime of imprisonment or getting shot in my back to walk through society feeling like i belong somewhere and to feel like i have all this success in my life that wasn’t took him it was earned and i never earned anything in my in my life man you know a lot of times within my life you know i i try to seek out and get a job i try to work in in construction or try to get a job with the family or this and that and always i’ve never had i ain’t never did a job i didn’t hate me
and there’s been there’s been mondays where i got up like man i don’t feel like going to work today there has never ever once been a day that i pulled up at peaks and felt like man i didn’t belong here i wasn’t glad to be here i’m excited to show up always i’ve always showed up in the best spirit man i always tell my guys good morning eric how are you doing blessings i’m blessed brother how you doing it’s always always how you doing eric i’m blessed that i don’t mean my day is good on me my day’s bad that just means since i could enjoy this day here man i’m blessed man i woke up today i’m sober god’s good and my black is in jail man let’s go let’s go oh man it’s been a blessing for me today man yeah i’m blessed man each and every day i get to spend in recovery is such a blessed day man because i spent my life my life in chaos and turmoil destruction uh trauma and drama to get to wake up blessed every day you literally smell the roses man you don’t need to have what is mine my little two bedroom apartment man my little car my bike my marriage man my life man it’s amazing i pay my own bills man i make my own way man yeah well he i got to say eric i i
we’re we are fortunate to have you too i want to say that and you are needed and you are necessary to our mission at peaks for sure of saving lives because you
what i think um what i think the heart of peaks is is people authentically being themselves and i i appreciate you coming here with lights and cameras around you uh and and sitting here and having this conversation and and bringing forward your heart um i think it’s apparent why uh the guys connect to you so well and uh look forward to talking with you and and having these experiences uh with you and and i and i want to acknowledge you for coming here despite your social anxiety and all that like this is it’s kind of an intimidating thing to come and sit here and i i appreciate your willingness to do that um any willingness to bring your heart onto the uh into the show like this i think is a tremendous gift i think to those watching at home and this is a piece of what i think we have to offer is you you get a little eric woods like you get a little like you get that heart man and uh and this is all genuine uh and and eric just gets to show up and be himself and i think it’s pretty cool yes um to touch on that a little bit to get to show up someplace just just myself um within my own family i was never able to to to do that to show up myself i mean i i i come to work and no one judges me man this this is probably the only place i’ve ever been in life where no one judges me man i still got my hat on my my dude man my shirt’s still a little baggy man i mean man i still look the same man don’t no one ever ever judges me i’m always embraced with love and respect and
peace changed my life and it showed me what true recovery is you know and to me true recovery like i said is night and day from sobriety yeah yeah thoughts on that like eric says it so well yeah um i just really appreciate you coming on appreciate your energy and i’m grateful today that we can all really focus in you know someone in group this morning was like you know i just think it’s about mental health and i think it’s always been about mental health i run around my neighborhood and i scream at everybody i said everything in this world can be solved through mental health um and i just appreciate you being a catalyst to creating a more mentally healthy world man you’re a big part of that so thank you for coming on and we’re gonna have to bring it back on again man we only got a little piece i know we’ll have to that’s all right we yeah we’ll do more plenty more pieces yeah yeah we’ll bring you all that’s a guarantee um all right well uh that that’s a wrap on this episode uh i appreciate you guys joining me um please find us subscribe on uh facebook instagram um follow peak’s recovery for a lot of chris burns tick tocks mountains mountain goats dancing running short shorts are a guarantee and they don’t judge me no judgment yeah that’s it for this episode uh have a good one