Episode 6

The Value of Boundaries

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Episode 6

We discuss the complexities of boundaries and how establishing them within the recovery process is pivotal for yourself and your loved one.


  • Our interpretation of the complexion of boundaries  
  • A similar metaphor that can help explain boundaries and how close or far you can hold loved ones in your life. 
  • We recognize how hard it can be to hold these boundaries, but we speak on how important it is to hold those boundaries for yourself and your loved one. 
  • Establishing boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t love your family member. 

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The difficulty is in identifying who you are. Boundaries require a lot of self-reflection and self-awareness.  You have to have a pretty good understanding of your personal identity in order to create boundaries, and when you are talking about families, particularly families that are impacted by addiction, those identities are completely enmeshed. It’s really hard to see where a mother’s love turns into enabling, or where manipulation turns into survival. It’s really hard to be able to figure them out. And I think that’s where most of the time that’s why these boundaries are created in frustration and anger because there isn’t enough self-reflection and self-awareness to be able to do it unless you’re actually in that stable emotional state.
Clinton Nicholson, MA, LPC, NCC – Chief Operations Officer
We have a need to connect with other people. It feels good to have people close, and sometimes it feels worse to be pushing people away. When we allow people too close to us and they aren’t safe, it does create pain and chaos, truthfully. Or conversely, we can move that boundary out so far that it creates this loneliness, this wall. We then can challenge people and see if they are safe and worthy of being closer to us. Sometimes they are, and sometimes they’re not. We can then be mindful of how close or how far away we keep our loved one. And sometimes it hurts to push boundaries out with people we love, even if it’s really important and keeping yourself safe. 
Jason Friesema, MA, LPC, LAC – Chief Clinical Officer

Episode Transcripts