Episode 11
Peaks Alumni Special Guest
Watch Now
Listen Now
Episode 11
Alumni of Peaks Recovery, Matthew M opens up about his early recovery journey all while COVID-19 was just underway in the United States.
Topics:
- Matt talks about his life before deciding to go into recovery, and how his perspective of recovery changed within a few hours of being at Peaks
- Matt talks about his whole journey through Peaks RecoveryExploring the deep relationship between trauma and shame
- Matt has now joined the Peaks Recovery Team as a Peer Recovery Coach
Select Quotes
Going through Peaks as a client I became part of a family. Now being on the other side, I am an active member of that family. Hopefully what I can do is reciprocate what I was given while at Peaks; that same care, that same attention, that same love, and same hope I was given, to other people now. So I get to participate now and that is the coolest part about this all.
Episode Transcripts
hello everyone welcome to finding peaks
my name is jason friesema i’m the chief
clinical officer
with me today chris burns president and
founder of peaks recovery
and matt marchand peer recovery coach
among other things with peaks recovery
but we’re not here to necessarily talk
about that what i
what i actually asked matt um to come in
and talk
with chris and i about is well
we’ll probably talk about pure recovery
coach but we i really want
to acknowledge that you are an alumni of
peaks uh
and i would i really would like to just
hear your story of
well how you’ve stayed sober frankly how
your recovery journey
okay it’s a broad question oh yeah yeah
um so i came into peaks that are really
like
well what i didn’t know to be but would
turn into be a weird time
um i went into peaks in 2019
and then 2020 hit and a couple months
into that
cove it happened yeah and um it was a
really weird time but it was a really
grateful time to be
in peaks at that time because
all i needed was a reason to lock myself
up in my house and not talk to anybody
and get myself in trouble um so i was
really fortunate in that fact
to do that um so
what do you want to know so we’ll talk
about your experience at peaks let’s
start there
have you been have you tried to be sober
had you tried to get sober before coming
to peaks
no ok
it was never on my radar in fact like
part of my
my background was like um
i thought sober people kind of sucked
but i didn’t really know what sober
people were and i wasn’t gonna give it a
shot
um you know i thought that everybody did
something or another
um i was really scared of like this idea
of like sobriety and recovery being
this working this job that you didn’t
like going home to people that
you might like eating dinner maybe
watching some tv going to sleep and
doing the whole thing over again that
sounded
boring to me and um yeah so i never
wanted to give it a shot
um when i got into peaks
you know um eventually got into peaks
uh what is your first
one or two memories about coming into
peaks well one i had the same clothes
that i had on two months prior to that
on um
you know i came from a place that uh not
very many people want to go
yeah and i didn’t really even get to
look it up online
and so i didn’t know what to think um
so you know i’m thinking i’m going to
this hospital type place
fluorescent lighting white walls
probably going to call me by a number
um something of that nature um i was try
my mom tried to reassure me that it
wasn’t going to be that but i was coming
from a place like that so i was like
going from one to the next
but something had to change so i was
willing to try it um
i remember walking out and seeing the
van
and the guy that picked me up
and i was like that’s when like a little
bit of hope was there
um you know and he introduced himself as
a as a
addict as well and that was a little bit
better and then
when i got there i got there at night so
i didn’t really get to meet anybody
and so i did i do remember walking in
and doing some of the intake um one of
the nicest people
in the world um when the nurses did my
intake
which was really kind of nice to to see
and
um then these two people came out and
they they greeted themselves
and i was kind of blown away because um
that’s not what i was expecting and then
they asked me if i wanted to eat
and i was like yo nice time um
what do you think that all why do you
think that all felt so good
because it wasn’t what i was expecting
and it was
this sense of like i wasn’t a number
these i was cared about and like
the first thing that you gotta kind of
do in my mind in that sense is like
or a sense of community is eating you
know and like
we sat around we talked till two o’clock
in the morning
eight went to sleep and then i woke up
the next morning
and the house was lively with all these
people that were like me
and we all got ready
and then we were going to something
called the center
and i was like okay i’m ready let’s go
and i got there and it was a friday
and um there’s this dude that was
sitting at the end of this room
asking people how they were doing and
that
was wild like
why do you want to know why i’m how i’m
doing you know
and but it started like and so that was
like my first probably what eight 12
hours
in peaks and it was
it was something that that made me feel
comfortable and pushed me along the
lines of one
that i can go on this journey
and two people care
and three maybe sobriety doesn’t suck so
much if these people are sober
and they’re having a good time maybe my
my idea was a little wrong
so okay and then talk through kind of
your time
at peaks and then even your time after
peaks
okay so i was on the extended care
program
uh part of that was covid related right
like we were it wasn’t it was
somewhat covered but it was also um i
needed that for
kovit like for that reasoning at that
moment you know
um that was the one thing that about
peaks too
that not only myself but my parents
ended up being very grateful
was that it was flexible for what i
needed
you know if i needed to leave right at
but i didn’t that was in no shape or
form to do that
um and so it was it was made to what i
needed it to be made
um so i mean if we go through a timeline
of it the first month i mean
it was a little rocky for myself because
of everything that was going on
internally um
trying to realize like who i was um
fighting these past behaviors that i was
going through
people always being nice to me and like
not understanding why
um also people telling me no
and not understanding why either um
yeah there but that was for the like
probably the first 30 days you know
and i think after the first 30 days
things started kind of clicking
um i started realizing that there was
somebody
that was inside of here that hadn’t
been seen in a long time um
i was shown ways of like
getting back to that i think that
through like
self-love and like things that i never
focus like half these words i never even
knew what they were
two months prior uh much less gave any
thought about
um and so yeah those those things
started coming along
and um
you know i started trying to change some
priorities of mine
and i think what it came down to me was
like aligning myself with people that
had things that i wanted
um the people that were around me
all had different things that i wanted
and i wanted to like
take certain things not physical things
but attributes
you know and like um parts of their
persona
and like but those things that i wanted
reminded me of like
my moral compass from back when i was a
kid
you know and so that was the draw for me
um
you know i i tried to make myself
present
while while there um
whether it was through um coffee with
people
or with my other um housemates
whether it was getting together and
meditating or
doing something as a house um i was i’ve
never been a big cleaning the house
person
or ever big into cooking for a lot of
people
and like that was something that became
something we did as a house almost every
day
um it was that sense of community um
you know and i was going through my
experience with peaks like all these
started
things started to make sense and started
to add up
and like i started to kind of figure out
who i was again and kind of fall in love
with that person
you know i think it started off with
um learning that the world doesn’t
revolve around me
it can be a tough lesson it’s a huge
lesson
i remember somebody trying to tell me
that lesson yeah it’s a tough one
and um you know but when i went in like
that was what i thought and like as a
community
um it wasn’t about me i was sitting in a
coffee talk one time
and somebody told look looked at me and
was like i’m going to tell you i’m going
to give you some advice and i said all
right
he said i’m going to tell you three
things that i want you to do
but i don’t want you to tell anybody
else
and we went over those things and i
remember
thinking first topic was picking up
cigarette butts on campus i was like
this fool’s just wanting me
to do some work like are you kidding me
and i didn’t get it at first and the
second thing was making breakfast
and the third thing was something else
and you know i
and we got done with with our thing and
um
[Music]
i went back and i think it took me like
to do the first thing and something kind
of happened at that point
of this isn’t about me
and the old me would have been like hey
guys i picked up these cigarette butts
praise me praise me now because i’m an
awesome guy
right and it switched that narrative
one i didn’t need the praises
no necessarily wanted them two
um didn’t
two the couple days later we were
sitting around
for a group and usually the same things
would get brought up every single time
and it would be do the dishes and don’t
throw your cigarette butts on the ground
and the second thing wasn’t even
mentioned
which was which was kind of cool but i
still hadn’t told anybody that it was me
um and then over the weekend we did the
breakfast thing and what that
what they did was it got me outside of
myself which i had been inside myself
and all about me for so long so
i want to throw this over to you chris
when you when you kind of envision when
you started peaks is this what you
wanted
as far as an experience for your clients
and how does that
or for people that came through or not
even clients like the people
yeah i mean it’s a great point you bring
up a really great
opportunity for a conversation and that
is like the fears that are actually
never realized
on the front end of treatment right
because we think there’s gonna be this
big bad goblin there’s gonna be all
these rules it’s gonna be really sterile
to be the fluorescent lights there’s
gonna be no connectivity and
instantly we’re plucked from what we
thought
to where we’re at and i just think
that’s a really really special process
and what you mention in there is like
recovery is boring [ __ ] i guess
sober at 22 years old don’t hit your mic
yeah yeah
i get sober 22 years old i remember
being like this is gonna suck
and i remember i remember where we were
when you realized
that actually this recovery thing wasn’t
gonna suck and actually it was gonna
take on new meaning
we were in breckenridge colorado on a
ski trip and i’ll never forget the look
on your face
and you were just like i was worried
about doing this without drugs this
this is actually better without
i’m getting chills i can do this and i’m
gonna do this and i knew from that day
forward that you would be sitting in
this chair
because i knew that you and inherit that
special part of recovery which is
connection
and endless opportunities to have fun to
experience joy
and to come back in alignment with who i
truly am
so i just think that that whole journey
is very very special and when
we talk about what i had envisioned in
i think what’s sitting in front of me
today far exceeds that i
never thought peaks would be in a place
to treat people
so appropriately and in such a caring
fashion that people would feel safe
enough
to explore those treasured parts about
themselves and that just means a lot and
so
it’s actually more than i ever thought
it would be
and i’m grateful to align with that and
to be a part of it really to experience
it
because this has grown on and taking on
peaks has taken on a life of its own and
certainly
surpassed anything that i ever thought
from an outcomes perspective
so it’s it’s been a joy man and we’re
just doing different work
now than we were in 2014 and my
expectations
as a professional for myself and for our
team are different than they were in
i think what you’re getting right here
is an extreme example of what that care
coming together with a
multi-disciplinary team
what you can get as a result and
obviously you got to have some some
willingness
which matt had the whole time so yeah
it’s just really
unique and unique experience and i even
remember that that bandana just coming
down man yeah it was just like
the whole life man the old life was this
and we were covered up and we were
hidden
and we were doing what we were doing and
our negative behavior patterns and i
just remember i was driving the van we
were coming back from the manitou
incline
and i just remember that thing just
and it just came down and it never went
back up after that day
until coveted right yeah
what is this man what is this
just kick this off it’s been really cool
and there’s quite a few examples like
that in the last couple of years that
have really
or far exceeded my expectations um and
it’s just been a beautiful thing to
witness
well i do think what i what i like about
your story is
that we have worked so hard at peaks i
think
to to not put a caring recovery on our
sign
but to to care like it’s a verb
we care we it’s an act that we do
and from somebody sitting and having
dinner with you at midnight or whatever
that was
upon your arrival and just what that
felt like
it’s really humanizing is what i heard
in your story too that
that when you said i wasn’t a number no
you were you were a person coming in who
was hungry
yeah maybe a little stinky i don’t know
but like yeah
um and now you now you’ve joined the
peaks team
what’s that experience been like has it
has it matched kind of behind the
curtain
uh when you get to come to meetings and
do all that
yeah 100 um so i likened it
i liking it too like so going through
peaks as a client i became part of the
family
um being it on this side now i’m an
active member of that family um
you know and hopefully
what i can do is um
reciprocate what i was given while at
peaks that same
care that same attention the same love
the same hope that i was given
to people as well and so i get to
participate now
you know and that’s that’s the coolest
part about this yeah and i love that you
didn’t like get behind the curtain and
realize it was all a show
no you know what i’m saying like you got
behind the curtain and you’re like damn
they’re actually doing it
yeah right it’s exactly yeah you know
when i was going through peaks towards
the end of my time like
you know it was a weird time of covet
and so we were in the house and like
that you know things had gotten a little
a little nutty and so like but we were a
little nutty
we did good by you know we cooked as a
family
we did these things and like you know
we had to we had to support each other
sometimes and so um
when i come back and i look back and i’m
like oh dude we had a weird time
and then i’m going to to the ranch today
and i see them doing the same weird
stuff that we were doing and it’s like
yeah bro like it’s all face like how it
was
is how it is you know and that’s pretty
that’s pretty cool
yeah that’s that’s that’s amazing and
then you know
it makes my job a lot easier i mean
because
you know it is what it is you know i go
and i do
the things that i do and what i’m
expected and like
yeah it’s just it’s amazing yeah
and then i mean i guess we’re coming
kind of toward the end here
actually we’re over time a little bit
but i but i do
and i’m not surprised uh because you
guys both like to talk but like i do
i do really uh i want to add
to that you know i’ve been at peaks
since almost the beginning
and uh it’s easy to come to work
it’s easy to come in and be a part of
the magic because i hope you see that
like even on the staff side like we care
about each other
um and and nobody has a bigger heart
than this man sitting over here as far
as i can tell and like
um and that and i and i get to watch
chris kind of insist on that
uh all the way down uh which i think i
think is phenomenal um so i think that’s
it for this episode of uh
finding peaks can we hug it out on the
way out
that would be weird and uh we’ll hit our
head on the lights
it’ll be strange fall over um
please subscribe wherever you get your
podcast spotify
you watch this on facebook youtube um
yeah other than that we’re out nobody
cares what you know
until they know that you care let’s go
baby
there it goes that was dope yeah
[Music]