Episode 108

hey everybody and welcome to another exciting and amazing episode of Finding Peaks your host Chris Burns president and founder also and better well known as recovery cheerleader for all of those that need a cheerleader I have my co-host and good friend Chief clinical Officer Jason Friedman welcome to the show thank you buddy absolutely and we have just some amazing guests I’ve been looking forward to this for months we have Brooke Perez with KK Fearless founder yes awesome we have her mother Melinda Jackson mother of the founder of kkq awesome well welcome to the show you all thank you really appreciate you all coming out of course I want to kind of set the stage for the viewers and the listeners out there KK Fearless is a non-profit developed by Brooke as well as her cousin Stephanie to raise money for musical spaces inside treatment programs turns out that not a lot of treatment programs have this opportunity and a lot of our people that check into programming find Solace and strength and spirituality and connection and so much more in these musical spaces so their non-profit is wrapped around raising money for these programs it came out of um tragedy though it came out of a tremendous amount of grief Kevin and Crystal both brother and sister lost their lives in the Battle of addiction and mental health and so that’s what we have here is uh this is actually Kevin’s hand yes it is Kevin he’s really got really nice hands um yeah big hands and it’s got Fearless on the thumb and has the two hands here just really really cool and so that’s what we’re here to do today is build up the cause for KK fearless and talk about how we’re going to be um having musical spaces in our new facility we’re gonna have Crystal’s Corner in the women’s program in Kevin’s Corner in the men’s program it’s going to be a really cool opportunity to kind of allow their their energy and their zest for life and just their their smiles to live on in a really really cool way and so I wanted to bring you guys all on here today talk a little bit about your journey a mother’s Journey a sister’s journey through some of this pain some of this grief and how we’re coming out the other side to really um you know connect with this cause and build it up so that maybe others that are going through a similar situation don’t have to suffer in the way that Crystal and Kevin ultimately did so thank you all for coming on the show we will get right into it um why are you open to addressing some of these issues I’ll start with Melinda okay where does the openness come from I’ve had a tremendous amount of grief in my life and finding openness to share with people places and thing has been really difficult at times why are you so open to sharing about KK fearless and your beautiful children well I think somebody needs to somebody has to talk about it somebody has to start the conversations um and I’m completely capable of doing that it doesn’t bother me to talk about them I’m not ashamed of them I’m not ashamed of what they who they were what they did because I knew them at their core and so I’m not ashamed of it and I’m not going to let anybody shame me to where I can’t talk about my own children because they were addicts and that’s why I’m here because somebody’s got to do it someone’s got to start talking yeah and just keep doing it to to break the stigma which is her goal yeah you know one of her goals so somebody’s got to do it so it might as well be me yeah I love what you pointed to there beautifully stated it’s like I know my children’s true genuine authentic self I knew that of course I wasn’t embarrassed by them yeah never was I ever embarrassed by them or who they were what choices they made you know because I knew who they were everybody else saw the repercussions or whatever of the choices that they had made at one time yeah but I knew who they were and I knew I was not dealing with the addict it was my child yeah they were still there I knew them and their heart because they were such good people they were amazing they everybody knew it but them that’s the problem yeah yeah and you’re so you’re so right I mean the the time that we got to spend with Crystal in particular I mean I’ve never known Crystal outside of recovery yeah I’ve never seen Crystal not draw us over breath yeah and this really privileged View and I know your experience with her is quite the same just incredible human absolutely incredible fill the room I have a lot of pictures still on my phone of her just from the the adventures we had back in the University of Serenity these days back in the day yes the sledding and hot trip and and all that stuff and yeah she’s so full of life how did you how did you keep that in the Forefront of your mind because I do think people get lost in like hung up on behaviors um they get confused about who their their person is like at their core yeah how did you hold on to that because I don’t know I it’s just I when I looked at them I didn’t see an edit okay I saw who they were yeah and um I didn’t see them as an addict so it just because I think I had that Outlook I knew I knew what they were doing I knew the choices they had made weren’t right and that they would probably kill them if they didn’t get help right but um yeah I mean I just I think that I feel like that has a lot to do with not giving up on them right and not seeing that side of them because you know better and you know more you know that that they’re more than that yeah and you didn’t give up on that yeah their lives have to mean something to somebody right not just me not just her they’re alive and who they were and what they brought to everybody that they were around it’s Gotta mean something to somebody and so we’re here to carry that on because I know if she was still here or Kevin was still here they would affect everybody they they came around and it would be a good even when they were in the height of their um abuse drug abuse mental illness whatever they were still the bright this light they could see their families and their friends and they loved and they they it didn’t change how they loved their families and stuff it it they didn’t love themselves that you know and if they could have seen who they were from my eyes right yeah they had no idea and and most people don’t because if you’re in that situation it’s because you’re suffering from some type of depression mental illness whatever it is it doesn’t matter you don’t see yourself the way other people see you and you give up on yourself and I just never gave up on them I tried not to I really tried not to yeah yeah and that’s profound I think you know there’s I just got done reading a book called The Journey of a heroic parent who actually did an episode on it a couple weeks ago and there’s a lot of shame that parents carry in regards to some of this stuff and I think it’s really important for mothers and dads and family members of people that are struggling to hear your message right now because oftentimes that shame lives in isolation and I have nobody to talk to maybe you can touch on how you came out of that isolation or maybe you never went into it I don’t know um you know I I think at first I was ashamed because I didn’t understand it but we’re talking about uh teenagers we’re not talking about the adult Crystal or the adult Kevin we’re talking about the 13 and 14 year old teenagers that um were doing stupid stuff and um you know as a mom you think that it’s just the phase they’re just you know they’re just hanging out with their friends you know so I was I honestly I didn’t really worry about it too much um but then I’m just as they continue to do it and as they got older and then it got worse and worse and worse um I wasn’t ashamed of them because I understood I guess why they were doing what they were doing right you know what I mean like I tried to understand at first I was you know I’m trying to get them Sober by punishment right right Sober Sober by punishment whatever that looks like to your to your child more energy I’m going to take this take this away take that away you um take the car away you know I bought them everything that I could and then you start taking stuff away and you’re trying to negotiate their recovery through holding things from them and punishing them um and I but I never felt shame I didn’t but I saw other people look at me and feel sorry for me um almost like out of their shame they felt sorry for me because they’re you know oh you know don’t want to talk about that you know and it’s the reality somebody’s got to start talking about it yeah and not be afraid to do it yeah seriously it’s got It’s it the shame and the avoidance and sweeping it under and hiding from it has got to stop and it’s the whole family it’s not just the addict yeah It’s gotta everybody’s gotta stop it yeah that’s what I love about your guys’s cause is you guys live out loud I mean in a really profound way um and you scream it from the rooftops yeah I would it is so good I used to tell Crystal wave your flag girl yeah wave It Whatever It Is whoever you are wave your flag yeah yeah okay we love you we accept you how you are yeah and wave the fact just represent yourself yeah because you’re amazing and I told her that all the time yeah so true too it’s so true it is what does it mean for you Brooke to have your mom a part of this and kind of in the studio today and why are you why do you have so much courage to get up here and I know we’ve checked in before but I’m going to talk to the viewers a little bit about what this means to you and as it certainly evolved since the last episode what it’s meant to you then and kind of what it means to you today yeah I mean I think the meaning behind it still means the same I mean to be able to carry on Crystal and Kevin’s legacies the whole purpose of all of this and you know to go to what she says is just to remember them for who they were and not by you know the choices that they made but actually see them for who they were the beautiful people that they were and you know I’m not going to let them go down as another number I’m going to continue to talk about them and who they were and you know even on social media I love sharing the videos I have of them and you get to hear Crystal’s laugh and you get to hear them play their music and it’s like this is who they were and so it’s really great for some of the followers who never knew them to be like oh this is who this person was and to hear them and see how talented and beautiful they were and to know that they’re a person just like anyone else so to again go towards breaking that stigma of they weren’t just addicts or junkies or whatever you want to call them they were more than that and here let me show you that they were more than that and so again that whole screaming from the rooftops I’m not ashamed of them and you know I’m here to tell everyone who they were and I believe that that’s my my calling and I always say you know I didn’t choose it it chose me and that’s that’s what it is and I’m proud to be a part of it so it’s it’s really cool and I mean I think exactly about your social media I want to say it was just a couple weeks ago you posted a video Yeah whoa yeah it’s like a tense for her laugh and it’s so beautiful right contagious I love what you guys are hitting on too because I think it’s important for the viewers to remind themselves that the cart came before the horse meaning before I Found A coping mechanism that almost worked because that’s what substances are um there was mental health and issues you know I always dubbed my my famous quote is my right leg was tapping and I couldn’t sit still in fifth grade long before I ever was introduced to substances and so I think you guys bring up a really valuable point for um people that are watching the shows like we can separate those things you know there’s a lot of people that everybody copes and everybody copes differently yeah it just turns out that the coping mechanism that we had Kevin um Crystal and myself the world shines the light on says you’re bad yep yeah you know I think they’ve been saying it since the War on Drugs yeah and so I love that you’re you’re allowing the viewers in the world to meet Crystal and Kevin for who they truly are yeah that’s
you know I have these like little gold nuggets I call them or I have an entire folder of pictures and videos of them and I’m holding them you know close and dear to my heart and like oh maybe like once a year I’ll post these because these are gold yeah right now you know I don’t want to just keep you know it’s social media whatever it’s it’s still so important to me that I’m not just throwing it out there I’m letting people like get to know them gradually and see who they were yeah and so that’s been really great about that yeah the world is going to get to know your siblings and your children Through Your Eyes exactly that’s what we want yeah so speaking of the your children through your eyes Mom tell me a little bit about Kevin and Crystal through mom’s eyes the singing stories Camp trips like what tell me a little bit about your beautiful children you know Crystal and Kevin were Fearless that’s why Crystal had the careless ring she was five foot two and wasn’t afraid of anything right am I right yeah right for sure she was not afraid of anything but she was always that way yeah her and Kevin not afraid to do anything we always had fun we did rafting trips where they would jump off cliffs and drag her up with him and she’s scared to death because she was the youngest and she did everything they wanted to do but they were all about living life and excite and excitement and thrill you know um we camped I taught them to fish she still fishes Kevin was big into fishing and we would go camping and her and I and Kevin would be fishing all day and Crystal would be in the car listening to music or reading so right you have these these two people that both suffered from the same addiction and completely two different people that were my children so there’s no way to know what you’re what you’re going to be up against I just don’t feel like there is when when you’re looking at it that way but we had a lot of time a lot of fun they were great in school they have a lot of friends they were the three of them were the most popular kids in the school well I was always known as either Crystal’s sisters or oh that’s Kevin’s sister oh there she is yeah but they knew they were they were I used to call my pot of people because they were all just a year apart and so if one can do it then nobody could do it with all of them you know what I mean so if they all three couldn’t do it nobody got to do it because that’s how it was it was the three of us or three of them and me and um they just we had so much fun with them doing everything just I don’t know it’s just a lot of fun we did a lot of stuff I took them to the beaches they loved the beach they loved the water they both taught themselves how to play the guitar are you a musical as well no okay do you sing her brother is my family is my mom’s saying my grandma my mom might yeah I mean my brother’s a musician okay um and his a lot of my dad’s side and his family um but my phone’s ringing it’s you sorry yeah I have to imagine that like some of those like family trips or um just like the sing-alongs you know just like part being a part of that yeah and such like a musically gifted it was so much fun mostly like the classics you know so like Queen and AC DC Kevin I’m playing the air drums yeah we had a lot of fun doing all of that but they taught themselves how to play these instruments and stuff nobody taught them so um they taught themselves how to do it and play the guitar and stuff and that’s some of those videos we have Crystal taught herself how to play the piano because she would listen to the song and then get on the piano and that’s inevitable yeah they just they loved they loved life they had a great family we we were a great family we had lots of support and love and when you grew up on the lake fishing yeah and all sorts of stuff yeah we we did we had a lot of fun um they weren’t deprived of anything ever you know and I was happy to I was happy to do that yeah and you see that a lot too and I think it’s a misnomer in the community that like sometimes these these circumstances are synonymous with tough family upbrings and they are at times always I was sitting in a group earlier today and I said sometimes needs don’t get met in great families for whatever reason great families and I’m sitting with one right now I mean it sounds like a family I’d love to be a part of well we had fun and we didn’t quite have the the connection on the lake trips that you all had so well we did a lot of stream fishing let me just say that yeah a lot of stream fishing that’s how she learned to fly fish oh she’s not a fly fish
that’s how I taught them as on a stream with the regular pool and a worm she’s debate my hook when she was three she carried my Bait Box around and bait my hook because I didn’t like to touch the worms Oh my gosh that’s fine she didn’t care she’s three okay one time she was like three years old she and that’s how they learned and it was I’m proud of that looking back because how much she loves to fish now and how good she is at it and Kevin loved it too it was a passion of his and I’m proud of that because I think that came from the bonding that we had when they were young yeah oh absolutely yeah it was entrenched from a young age yeah I think that’s really really cool like ecosystem and story and family it just sounds like you all got along really well too and especially in like The Sibling Group yeah we were all a year apart yeah they were attacked yeah yeah they were attached for sure yeah I found a lot of times too when siblings are really close like that it oftentimes has a lot to do with the way that mom’s kind of directing the show and kind of the energy you’re pouring down onto those kids yeah I think it’s really cool my brothers and I grew up with our like hands at each other’s throats so a little bit different
there wasn’t fights and that Crystal had scars on her face from her I have scars all over my body from her they clawed each other and fought with each other but you know what they they fought for each other too and that’s what she’s doing yeah Crystal beat up a guy in high school for Kevin because he sucked forecast punched Kevin and pulled his shirt over him and Crystal heard it and Crystal went and and beat up this kid in school they were in the school they were in the hallway yeah in high school wow yeah and they called me to the school because looks like they knew protect your that’s your brother that’s your sister you protect them Scrappy yeah yeah that’s a great idea that is her she was she didn’t care she was Fearless yes she was yeah she beat up this kid because he sucker punched Kevin you know but anyway he didn’t see that coming no get your sister off me exactly imagine living with that as a senior in high school oh my boy yeah um so yeah they they protected each other for sure they fought within them their little group but they protected each other they did and she’s still doing it exactly exactly she’s still doing it she’s still protecting she’s still fighting she’s yeah exactly we’re all still fighting for them um it’s because it becomes where it’s not a selfish Endeavor anymore just like I’m sure what you guys do all the time yeah yeah it’s not a selfish Endeavor you’re trying to help these people you want to see them just like as a parent you want to see them get through it and Thrive and come out of it and then you see these amazing people that you have working for you who we just talked to today yeah they’re you you know like Kara they’ve gone through all of that and that’s all a result of what you put into them and I put I tried to put that into them too and um and they knew I loved them they knew I cared about that oh yeah I know they did I know for a fact they did Mother’s Love can be felt miles away yeah and that’s something we’ve always felt with Chris yes just that family love and that engagement yeah her family loves her and they all everybody accepts who they were yeah and they’re not ashamed of it nobody in my family is ashamed of who they were I like that I won’t and I’m not I won’t allow it
what is kind of a kind of dovetail off of that what is some of the hardest parts about watching your two loved ones who you just fabulously describe so many amazing characteristics and energy and connectedness and hope and Lively humans like what is the toughest part about watching those two suffer in their addiction the hardest part of being a mom is that you can’t help them I used to tell them that I would if I could I would write a check and buy their sobriety and I told them that all the time yeah I’d give up everything I’d sell my soul I’d write a check if I could buy it for you I would I would do anything I could so you didn’t have to go through this so you didn’t have to feel shame and feel like you weren’t worthy and be um just kind of cast aside because that’s what people do to people that are struggling with anything you know um but I that was the hardest thing was I couldn’t fix it you want to do it for your kids you want to if there’s a problem you want to help them or friends or family it doesn’t matter you want to help them and um it’s it’s really hard to realize that you can’t do it they have to want it um and you can’t like I said you can’t punish them into it guilt them into recovery you can’t do any of that they have to want it and you have to be able to support them without judgment yeah that’s got to be I mean one of the tougher things to walk through as a mom is knowing that you know we I have young kids six and seven years old and like I have every resource they need today in fact they tell me that right Dad whatever it is you got it right and we go from this place of like literally meeting all of our kids needs to being in a spot when they’re an adult to being a little bit disconnected from that and not being able to show up and really make any sort of movement especially on the mental health side it’s this very this is this kind of this vast position of powerlessness yeah it’s a mother yeah exactly and it doesn’t matter who you are how much money you have because you can’t buy it and you can’t negotiate it it is what it is yeah and you deal with it and you accept the fact that that’s what you’re going to have to deal with yeah um one way or another right
yeah what was maybe the most difficult part for you Brooke walking through that with your brother and your sister a little different than maybe Mom’s View yeah I mean it is quite different just because they would tell me things they wouldn’t tell her you know so I saw a lot of what they were doing and the partying and the drugs I saw that and was in that a lot more than she was obviously but um that was difficult to see and it was difficult to hear other people talk about them in ways where they were doing drugs with them or what have you and um yeah it was really hard to be I was basically straight edge I mean I and it’s still today I don’t drink a whole lot um you know I’m pretty boring I guess but um yeah I mean it was difficult to be that person in with all of their friends and for them to see me versus them and see me as kind of an outcast basically from the entire group but it was more so difficult as we grew up and got out of the house and were adults and seeing them continue down that road and live on the streets and be in and out of homes and you know I cut crystal off for an entire year thinking that would help solve this and it didn’t it just made me even more sad that I didn’t have that connection with her um so yeah it was it was really hard because like we had mentioned we were all best friends and so it’s hard not being able to talk to them or text them and not hear back for weeks on end and just wondering you know are they safe where are they right now what’s going on um yeah it was really difficult growing up and seeing that and not being like that either you know there’s nothing worse than waiting for that phone call nothing worse than waiting for that phone call every day every day not knowing where they are what’s going to happen there’s nothing worse than as as a mom or a parent a loved one whatever you just you’re always waiting always waiting and that’s hard maybe even to speak a little bit to I mean really both of your points too but maybe even yours bro because I wonder if that was a recommendation or suggestion from one of the treatment providers it was like set a boundary create space I do tell you that and so yeah don’t enable right right about a million times don’t enable them and I’m the worst enabler you know because I think I can help them yeah you know what does that even look like how how do you help support someone without enabling yeah what does that look like that’s the that’s the part that’s hard to navigate through is because do you you know if they call you and they need money because they’re hungry do I tell them no because they might and most likely will go buy drugs with it what do you do as a mom yeah and you know looking back I don’t know that I made the right decision but I don’t know that I made the wrong decision yeah you know there’s no way to know that part’s so tricky because I mean I do think like professionals like to make things really black or white like really hard decisions and and the word enabling your codependency or whatever like it’s kind of Shame anymore and like it’s it is it’s kind of not the nicest thing to tell somebody people make you feel bad because you want to help this your loved one or your child I mean how could you not help your child yeah if they tell you you’re hungry or they’re cold yeah they have nowhere to go nowhere to sleep yeah how hard is it you know I and I the one thing I wish I would have done differently is I wish I wouldn’t have tried to get them sober through punishment I wish I would have tried to support them more and still had them involved in family things even if they were still using yeah I that’s one thing I wish I would have done you know um instead of trying to punish them thinking if I keep them away then they’ll stop you know well it really I mean and you were using the tools you had you know what I mean at your disposal I don’t know what you don’t know right yeah exactly and I and even even our field I think even in the last four or five years I think we’re starting to figure out that this like don’t talk to somebody for a year like this time no so no it’s terrible advice it’s terrible and um I I actually think it is too and like I think there should be boundaries around things and like yeah um or dangerous situations yeah you don’t want to expose the dangerous things and you need to protect yourself emotionally too yeah um and only take it in certain bites or whatever but but yeah like that that big firm like because
on the other side of that you know that it’s hard too like it’s hard for them to feel that rejection because all I did was tell them not to be ashamed of who they were and by by telling them I don’t want them around and made them ashamed of who they were yeah you know it was the information that was being given to you yeah you know now you know our family coach Lisa Smith has famously noted was saying we set we always want to remain in connection yeah yeah um so we’re really shifting as a treatment provider helping families align closely with their loved ones not walking out in front of them but walking by their side yeah um and she talks about you know if we have an intervention and it goes bad we lose connection we lose influence forever and so I think again I think we’re starting to shift and for really good reason because then parents and family members carry this tremendous amount of shame but it was recommended oftentimes by the treatment provider exactly shame and then it turns to guilt yeah yeah because now the shame turned to guilt and then as a parent you sit feeling guilty wishing what if I would have done something different yeah yeah no um and that’s like the survivor’s kind of guilt probably but as a parent it’s multiplied by hundreds yeah
the guilt the guilt I think that’s a good a good spot for the kind of my next question and that is what message do you have for other mothers out there that are potentially going through something similar maybe something you want them to know that you didn’t know at the time and want them to be armed in the best way possible to support their loved ones yeah one of the hardest things that I had to go through was trying to try and help for my kids because it doesn’t matter where you call you can take them to the hospital they’re gonna do you know maybe a hole they’re gonna but then when that’s up they’re going to kick them to the curb and trying to find somebody that really wants to help you or cares about you you know they need to the parents and the moms need to be able to reach out to people like you and and have it be accessible to where you don’t have to oh they’re closed it’s a Saturday when your child is possibly overdosed or you don’t know where they are and you’re trying to get them help or whatever the case may be you can’t just do like the the clinical way of it it’s because it’s not just a clinical thing it’s they have to be able to call anytime and be able to get somebody on the line that can give them resources give them Direction because I could never get that and I tried and you call and they all call for call this number and you call them and they want you to spend fifty thousand dollars you know give them a check for fifty thousand dollars to send them to a rehab you know they need somebody that’s actually there that’s going to give them resources for where they are where they live their situation and um I really hope that that’s something that you guys will will do but that’s one of the hardest things is not knowing where to go and who to turn to yeah um and you bring up such such a phenomenal point one of our core values is to disrupt the industry through quality of care like mothers out there fathers who are calling for their loved ones ask good questions yes if they can’t give you good answers hang up the phone right because what ultimately happens is there’s an underbelly of this field and it’s pretty tyrannical and you get a lot of people yeah cut me a fifty thousand dollar check we’ll put them on a plane tomorrow like what are we doing and who are we doing it with yeah so I love that get curious not knowing what to do though that’s that’s the hardest thing and I would say if you’re in that situation with someone who’s in active recovery who you’re really really can or not active active addiction and you’re really really concerned about them is to get them to a detox try to find a detox that’s the place to start because it doesn’t matter where you go They’re gonna have to do talks yeah right that’s fair that’s fair yeah um I wish I would have known that because I didn’t it took me years and years to figure out that if I could get them to a detox center that gave bought me a couple days to try to help them find some place to go yeah because I don’t have the answer there’s still no answer if she was an addict right now and I didn’t know you guys I’d be in this same situation I would be trying to figure out what to do with her who’s going to help me who’s going to help her because you feel like you’re on an island and nobody wants to help you right and then you’ve it’s that shame like nobody wants to talk about it you take them to emergency room they okay well yeah you made the choice yeah yeah sorry yeah that’s hard yeah super hard you get turned away and at some point like the medical field is going to have to figure out that when they stop making addiction criminal and make it an actual um health issue and not a criminal issue this is how it’s gonna be and it’s gonna take time but if we keep talking about it and talking about it and talking about it I’m hoping that at some point people will quit looking at it as a criminal issue well the medical field is filled with discrimination right like that I mean to your point like they they want people in and out I had a friend who um had cirrhosis and actually needed a liver transplant but he was not an alcoholic and he would go to the hospital and like um he’d be treated so poorly and then they would write on his chart non-alcoholic cirrhosis like in big letters and then they dream nice oh geez huh I pretty much don’t discriminate against this guy yeah this wasn’t his fault I mean oh it wasn’t his fault he didn’t make the choice and there’s nobody that needs more love connection and affection than the vulnerable they’re walking through the doors I know yeah that’s exactly yeah I know it’s it’s terrible so I just I really hope that it gets there’s more resources for people that are going through it and hopefully it’ll just get better and better and bigger and bigger to where you can call somebody and find out where to go um and who to call how to get help like a reasonable resource list exactly yeah yeah for real people yeah you know not the family living up on the hill right for real normal everyday people have jobs that they have to get up to in the morning to support their other kids yeah you know like it’s it’s a real thing not everybody has millions of dollars to pay for this stuff yeah you know there’s got to be somebody that wants to help not just for monetary gain or personal gain or whatever the case may be and I think that’s who you guys are I think you’re like wanting to truly help I mean clearly that’s who you guys are yeah you’re here trying to keep Crystal’s Legacy alive from years ago I mean when did she come in 16 2016. 15 16 because Logan died in 16. yeah so so she was there it really shows a lot she was there it’s a day I’ll never forget I’m obviously none of you told me about it seven years ago a couple days ago it’s June 5th oh June 5th seven years wow yeah and she I don’t know if you guys knew this but when we got home from the hospital after Logan passed um she came with me and she overdosed to my basement the next day and I had to do CPR on her um and then call the ambulance and they did the Narcan and okay and that you were talking about that a little bit before the show Logan was his younger brother he was he was six when he died yeah so um they were all real close to you know being the older siblings and they all loved him and he had a special bond with Crystal um and I and to me looking back now I think it all has to do with this exact thing that we’re talking about he was here for a reason for that short time and um she just she’s so attached to him that when we lost him we lost her yeah that same day and I knew it was coming yeah yeah it wasn’t a surprise and that was that pain she didn’t know what else to do she couldn’t deal with it you know some of us go run around the block you know and other people don’t yeah you know I really appreciate um the voice that you’re allowing to be heard in the community with KK Fearless I mean for the viewers out there I mean to have Melinda on today you know having lost three very very very close loved ones in her life and just to be able to come on here and talk about it openly to the viewers and give other mothers hope you know you talked candidly before we started on the work that you’ve done on yourself in order to be able to show up on shows like this and speak freely you know you have done it as well Brooke I just I think it’s just incredible and remarkable experience to share for viewers and everybody knows somebody who’s going through something similar you can’t talk to somebody that doesn’t know someone that’s benediction or lost someone honestly yeah and so I think the KK Fearless thing is going to continue to build this up in alignment with Peaks we’re actually getting ready to do a really really cool music festival I wanted to kind of um wrap the show up with talking about what we’re doing at the Peaks campus and so KK fearless and Peaks are coming together to raise money for a new musical spaces and Peaks but in addition to that get the word out and so we are going to be doing a festival we’re going to have the satsang um on I think the headliner as well and some other bands as well but just having fun in recovery we’re gonna have some food trucks we’re gonna invite people out we’re gonna share Crystal and Kevin’s story we’re going to have other testimonies of people getting up there and we’re just trying to get the message out there that hope is alive and well and you can have it if that’s your choice and so maybe talk a little bit about what this Festival upcoming September 9th means to you Brooke and I know you guys did an amazing one in Dillon Colorado yes yeah Dylan Colorado at 10 Mile and Dillon yeah
um yeah I mean it’s it’s gonna be the biggest yet I mean which isn’t really saying a lot we’ve only had two thus far but we are really excited to be able to partner with you guys and you guys are giving us that space and that platform to share our message and our mission and that’s truly remarkable we’re so thankful for it but just to be able to it’ll be what a week after overdose Awareness Day right and so to be able to kind of include that or intertwine that in there and celebrate those and honor those that are still with us and those that aren’t and so to be able to make it where people can go up and share their testimonies and how music changed their life and help them through their sobriety is what matters to us that’s huge to be able to show actually that this coping mechanism works and and that’s our mission is let’s go do this to all the treatment facilities in Colorado and show that it’s working and it’s helping those in the recovery community so it’s going to be really huge and I’m really excited about it it’s going to be great yeah I can’t wait it’s going to be great yeah I’m really really looking forward to it we have we’re finishing up our campus at the end of July we have a ribbon cutting somewhere in the middle of August and then the concert’s right at the back end of August which is overdose awareness month and so we just can’t wait to build up the cause it’s like the more people that we can tell this story to I think the more impact we can have in communities at large and I just really again appreciate you guys coming on so boldly so courageously yeah and so humbly and just sharing this at times the tough part about the journey and sharing it so openly with the viewers and us it just means the world and it’s through that sharing and through that openness that you all will continue to have such a tremendous impact for mothers for sisters for family members for people that feel all alone disconnected and isolated in this yeah it’s a horrible feeling but yes I think that’s the thing too is a lot of people think that you know they may see me and see what I’ve done with this and think it came easy and it didn’t yeah you know and I’m still suffering with it I still there’s days that come and go with grief that it you know creating this nonprofit was not easy at all um but if I can carry on their legacy then that’s what matters that’s what I’m gonna do it’s harder you can help one person right yeah absolutely yeah if we can help save one person then it’s worth it yeah and it’s it’s worth celebrating beautiful humans and the impact that they lived on this world I agree you know yeah and I’m sitting in front of two people that four people that they’ve impacted tremendously so yeah yeah thank you all for being so brave and coming on I appreciate you very much thanks for having us absolutely thanks for coming on for everything you did for Crystal you got it because we’re amazing we do it a million times I know and you will for all of our viewers out there please find this episode on all of the places where you get your podcast potentially social media Outlets as well make sure any questions or concerns if you have questions for Melinda or just want some more insight please email your questions to questions at findingpeaks.com um until next time appreciate you