Episode 15

hello everybody and welcome to the peaks
recovery center’s talk show
i am super excited to be here today we
got some phenomenal guests with us
to my right we got my good buddy cody
fleck
client care aide someone in long-term
recovery as well
and to my left we have our trustee steed
clinic chief clinical officer jason
friesema who is the
first longest tenured employee with us
right now
and then beau right right what’s the
right now thing chris like today have
news for me
and so we wanted to do this in the most
compassionate way possible
as public as possible yeah no we love
freeze my piece we love cody
i’m really excited to get on here today
it’s my first time hosting
i get to bring cody on and he’s just got
a really authentic
powerful um and unique recovery story
that i want him to share
um briefly and we’ll just kind of start
there
and get into and start conversating
about it but i think cody’s got some
really good insight
some good experience and now being on
the professional side
um some good ways to lean in with
compassion love and care which is
what we love to do at peak so yeah cody
why don’t you tell us a little bit about
your experience kind of getting sober
what that was like maybe your time in
the military as well he did three years
in the military and then
as a professional a little bit you can
track on all three of those yeah no
problem
um so yeah growing up uh it was
it was kind of kind of tough for me um
both my parents used so that became kind
of like a
normal normalcy for me um i
uh used to deal with life
anything that happened in my life that’s
what i turned to
i joined the military when i was
as a cavalry scout in in the u.s
military um in the army
and um i thought that would
kind of take care of of my addiction and
the problems i was having
but that that was not the case at all
i did in fact still find ways and means
to use
i want to backtrack a little bit i had
gone
to a rehab to my first rehab when i was
program in baton rouge louisiana
and i really didn’t grasp anything that
was going on
most of the kids were a little older
than me and
it was a it was a weird uh a weird
experience for me at that age
to go through that but fast forward to
uh while i was in the army i still drank
i still used i wasn’t using iv but i was
still
using pills and stuff that nature
and yeah my time in the military was
great i
soon moved back to louisiana after
getting stationed at 4 poke
and that’s kind of where my addiction
kind of kicked back off again
a little more intense at that time
i started going home on the weekends
hanging out with old friends again
and yeah i started uh
i started using just to cover up the
pain of
losing my father at a young age
losing my mother short shortly after
that to
her addiction and incarceration
so yeah i bounced bounced around a lot
i went through
i caught some charges and ended up
having to get into the drug court
program
i found
at that point in my life i found out
what
aa was really um and i knew
that it worked but i didn’t fully
uh commit to changing in in the program
um i
about a year after that i started using
again while on drug court
and i basically kind of gave up at that
point
i uh opted to
go to prison pretty much and
spent a couple years involved
in the judicial system in concordia
louisiana
and got out and i knew that
i needed to make some major changes i
wanted to get out of louisiana and i
thought that moving would be
my best bet and i thought again just
like i did
when i joined the army that moving to
florida would solve
all my issues um and i found out that
wasn’t that wasn’t the case at all
i moved to florida and that kind of
started my journey in the
treatment scene um going from rehab to
rehab
and all in all i i truly
wanted to stop using i did not want that
life i always knew that i
could be better but
i just didn’t i just didn’t know how i
didn’t know what i was missing at that
point
um and it’s tough too because you grow
up with it
all around you and i think because i
relate to that having both mother and
father addicted and
all around you is this idea that if i
can just get a little bit better than
this
i’ll do okay yeah and so there’s really
no way out of that and there’s
it’s not this idea that i can like
yourself i tried to go check into the
military at 18
and squash my addiction only for it to
pop back out the side right
and same with you so it’s it’s not a
thing that you can suppress and i just
love the way you describe
addiction because you said i do it to
treat the pain
and and i’ve just said this at nauseam
lately just because of dr gabor mate and
all this stuff it’s not why the
addiction it’s why the pain
you just really described that really
eloquently man and thank you
i love the way that you move through
that but go ahead and continue with the
treatment yeah so i mean i i’ve i’ve
i’ve been through a number of different
treatments um
and they they were great i did learn
some things
some some not so great um but
uh yeah so i did i did learn something
from each treatment center
um and yeah bouncing from treatment to
treatment trying to
trying to solve my my problem which was
which was
the use and the and why why i used
um ultimately my time in florida was
coming to an
end i met a guy and came out to colorado
springs
um again trying to trying to run for my
issues
um and yeah i found myself
arrested again here um after about with
uh some some some
a few nights of drug use um
and yeah that that’s kind of that’s kind
of where
uh my how my journey ended
as far as my use and
february 26 of 2019
was the last day i used and i still can
remember
that’s legit man yeah i still can
remember the
the the feeling of uh of what
what just happened and and where i was
at
at that point and uh i remember getting
offered
drugs um not two hours after
uh arrested in el paso county and that
was the first time
uh i you know denied
anything um so yeah it was it was a it
was a really powerful
moment for me and i knew that it wasn’t
just uh oh uh like i’m never gonna do
this because i’m
i’m here um it was like i just
i just don’t want this anymore so yeah
that that light
just clicks and you’re like i’m done
yeah
yeah that’s beautiful talk to me a
little bit about
what the last two and a half years in
recovery’s both been personally
and professionally yep um so a year ago
i found peaks
i was yeah it’s a day away from a year
ago
i started working for peaks and
prior to prior to work prior to getting
the job at peaks i
i got out and hit the ground running
i knew that i needed to make some major
changes
and go to any lengths to to keep on this
path
i got
committed to ca here um
met some really good really good guys
who i’m still friends with to this day
stayed connected with them and
i just started going through the steps
going through the process
working my butt off to to really
change my life and make sure that i
never had to go back to that
started working for peaks a year ago and
that’s where
it opened my eyes to to a lot more
than just you know ca and aaa and
in the program i found out that there
there’s many ways to
to stay on this path i found out that
they actually had staff at treatment
centers that that truly cared about
about the client and put their best
interest
ahead of had head of their own sometimes
you know and um
it’s just been a blessing to
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be able to work for this work for this
company
uh work for the people i work with my
co-workers
it’s like a family it truly is a family
and
and yeah i mean just opened my eyes to
to a different side of the treatment
scene because like i said
you know i’ve been i’ve been involved
with treatment for for a long time
um and you know some of some of those
times weren’t weren’t the best uh
experiences um but yeah
i mean peaks is uh peaks is really uh
it’s really different in a lot of ways
and uh
you know from the staff that is there
with the clients
day in and day out uh from the medical
side from the clinical side
from from now iop um
and which which is great because i
really feel like staying involved with
with the people and the in the company
that helped you get clean is
is really important so yeah that’s great
man and
you’ve certainly found a lane at peaks
that you’re really really good at and
cody is kind of
i describe him and another guy sylvan up
there and our detox is kind of like the
front ground
triage infantry soldiers i mean the
people walk in in the worst conditions
of their life
life more often than not and this guy
walks right up
and is happy to wrap his arm around him
and say let’s go
it doesn’t matter he can hold space for
those individuals just as good or better
than anybody i’ve ever met
and like i told you today on that feed
like you’re made for this i mean it
shows in the work that you get to do on
a daily basis and so we’re just as lucky
to have you
yeah to be a part of that for sure and
just like cody and
jason pointed this out a couple weeks
ago when we were doing a show he said
you didn’t believe in treatment
the reason i didn’t believe in treatment
was because of all the bad actors
and that’s what cody saw down in florida
is if you go to so many programs and
you’re around so many programs
and you learn that this is this is
actually not efficacious it’s not
putting clients first
and then you find yourself an a.a saying
things like this is the only way to get
sober yeah
and it really is i’m grateful that peaks
can be that breath of fresh air because
there’s certainly been a couple breaths
of fresh air for me over the last couple
of years
that have allowed peaks to adopt some
really compassionate and trauma-informed
uh pieces of care so yeah um grateful
you’re
you’re leaning into that now um i want
to shift over to jay money
yeah that was solid yeah i appreciate
that dude you got a powerful story
thank you powerful story let me ask cody
one question switch over
yeah i i appreciate the before story i
really do and
and i love the recovery part of your
journey cody and then i
i just wanted to ask you what brings you
joy now like what what gets you up in
the morning and brings a smile on your
face and it doesn’t have to be peaks by
the way
well peaks peaks is a is a big part of
that um
but also just uh finding myself again
i used for so long that uh i didn’t i
didn’t know who i was honestly i didn’t
know
what i liked i didn’t i didn’t know what
i didn’t like i didn’t know
that was that was a big fear of mine uh
getting clean is like what what am i
supposed to do now
you know um i spent my days using
um so um uh like
a part of this is is is from the program
but uh
just helping others helping others is
huge for me
um because i was that guy that
uh you know was homeless and and didn’t
have
um and you know whenever someone
you know lent a hand or tried to give me
direction i i thought that was
really really genuine um so yeah just
just helping giving back
uh you know working out staying fit
um what do we do this morning yeah
crossfit tell them what we did this
morning
we had what 15 guys in early recovery
doing a 20-minute am rep with 15
excuse me five pull-ups 10 push-ups 15
air squats
as many times as possible in 20 minutes
it was a great it was great to see
yeah beautiful thing and they love that
that’s something they look forward to
and that’s something you know i look
forward to
at work and and on my own time um but
yeah man
just giving back is this the most it’s
been the most rewarding feeling and it’s
something that i was missing
in my past attempts to to get clean
honestly
um because those times that i was clean
and in the past were kind of
just like you would uh say dry drunk or
or someone without any any happiness in
their life so
yeah man that’s definitely been a huge
factor of what brings me joy
that’s awesome yeah and a great question
too because i always tell you i’m like
we want to touch our passion every day
yeah whatever that is
yeah great question great response so
we don’t have a tremendous amount of
time left but i’m going to shift it over
to jason and
just kind of keep going on the the same
tongue that we’ve been on and
you know treatment providers i used to
be a treatment i used to
run a program in prescott arizona that
maybe i shouldn’t have been out in front
of you know i was very new in the field
i was only a few years i was hungry i
treated people well i cared a lot
but i wasn’t in a good position to be in
there and so i think sometimes
in those early recovery processes
specifically back in 2008 and 2009 for
me
where i think i’m showing up being
accountable or helping
become helping the group become
accountable i’m actually introducing
some shame
and that is the last thing that i want
to do today and i think the last thing
we should be trying to do is treatment
providers so
and it’s a delicate dance sometimes and
so i just want to chat with you a little
bit about
what is the difference between
accountability and shame and and how do
you
how do you differentiate those yeah and
i think
if i were to say it in a sentence i
would say accountability is about
behaviors and shame is about character
of a person
right if you if if i’m confronting
somebody about
their behaviors i’m holding them in high
regard while i’m doing it i’m holding
them up and saying
you’re valuable you’re valuable enough
for me to say hey these behaviors are
out of line
shame is saying wear a sign that says
i’m an addict and go sit on the street
corner you know what i mean like that’s
shame
you do that that is i mean
there is a history of that in this field
and fortunately we are moving away from
it but i think
um people that have walked through
addiction don’t need to be told uh
what a piece of garbage they are they
are feeling that
they need to be told you have a lot of
value and we can build you up in this
way
and then some of your behaviors probably
need some correction along the way
because it isn’t like you just remove
drugs and alcohol and everything else
like all my other behaviors fall right
in line i’ve stopped lying i treat
people right i
make my bed i i i live on a schedule
those things
like those things have to be taught and
and they don’t come naturally just with
the removal of the substance and like
doing this longer term work and and um
and cody did a great job describing it
too like working out and all that
bringing
finding joy just in uh kind of getting
acquainted with yourself again i think
that’s what
that’s what matters and so i that’s my
short answer to your question
yes i think that’s a really great answer
because
what we’re doing is we’re pulling out of
the only resource that was around in
yeah which is alcoholic synonymous is a
great resource absolutely but even so
much so when i got sober in 2008 i heard
stories and things like just sit down
shut up
listen you’ll talk when you get a year
and at the time i was one of those
people that was resilient to that type
of treatment
but there’s a tremendous amount of
people that aren’t and you can’t fight
shame with shame so
i just think that’s really really
valuable to grow up and out of
that aaa culture especially if we’re
treatment providers yeah
um so you bring up a great point and
explain that really really well and
i just think we can all get better on a
daily basis with respect to compassion
love care and decompressing shame
because most people are walking into
your credit like
there’s not a single person that’s
beating themselves up worse than the
person walking in the door
and when they get to sit with somebody
like cody who understands what it feels
like to be in shame
i mean we can dismiss that right away
and that’s that’s how
in the last almost seven years with
people like yourself
and cody how we’ve been able to develop
to adopt and carry out
this idea that nobody cares what you
know until they know that you care and
so
it’s because of special individuals like
you guys so um
thank you so much for coming on cody
matt’s been great having you on
pleasure love to have you on again here
in the next six weeks or so
jay trusty steed baby
love y’all so that’s it for the peaks
recovery centers talk show founded
september 14
people find us wherever you find your
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now on that so make it beautiful and
blessed
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peace