What is Codependency?

Codependency is a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual reliance on someone. Codependency is not actually a diagnosis, and it is not a personality disorder on its own. It does however incorporate different aspects of an attachment pattern, not to mention that it can overlap with other personality disorders as well.

Signs of Codependency

Codependency refers to an imbalance in a relationship. One person will assume the general responsibility of meeting the needs of someone, while excluding or failing to acknowledge their own feelings or needs. One person needs someone, and the other needs to be needed. Codependency in relationships are constructed around a power imbalance, and this promotes the needs of the taker while leaving the giver in a situation where they continually need to sacrifice their own needs. Some examples of codependency include:

Walking on eggshells to avoid conflict
Having to check-in when doing daily tasks
One person always apologizing
Feeling sorry for someone when they hurt you
Trying to rescue those who are troubled, addicted, or under-functioning
Doing anything for the other person at the expense of your own comfort
Feeling like you have lost yourself in the relationship

An Example of Codependency

It’s important to know that codependency can happen in almost any type of relationship. One example would be a woman who is married to an alcoholic. She always puts the needs of her partner before her own and she also believes that if she shows him enough love and affection then she can eventually help him to become sober. The issue is that she is enabling him by giving him everything he needs and also by trying to cover up any destructive behavior he might do. She blames relationship issues on herself, and she will also sacrifice her mental well-being to try and make the relationship work. This type of codependency can have damaging effects on both parties if the issues are not addressed before the issue worsens. Remember there is always help and support out there if you need it, and you are certainly not alone.

What Causes Codependency?

Codependency can be caused by a number of things, including low self-worth, addiction, a troubled past, or mental health issues that may be undiagnosed.

Why Codependency is Unhealthy

Everyone has loved ones that they feel responsible for. It becomes unhealthy when someone’s identity is entirely contingent on somebody else. It doesn’t refer to every caring behavior at all, instead the focus is on caring to an unhealthy degree. This kind of dynamic is often called relationship addiction. The main reason for this is because codependent relationships are often emotionally destructive, one-sided and imbalanced. The problem that arises with codependency happens when someone loses themselves because they invest so much time and effort into the other person. Even if the giver doesn’t feel this way immediately, it will get worse as the relationship goes on.

How to Stop Being Codependent

The first step that you can take if you want to stop being codependent would be for you to focus on your own self-awareness. This can easily be done by yourself, but it doesn’t hurt to seek support either. Many people who have a problem with codependency do not seek help until their life begins to fall apart. If you act now, you will be able to support your own mental wellbeing, sooner.

Take Small Steps

The first thing that you need to do is try and take small steps. You need to try and get more separation in your relationship, and you also need to try and form new friendships. If you can focus on figuring out the small things and if you can begin to find out who you are, then this will really help you to expand and overcome them.

Turn Your Attention Inward

Stand Up For Yourself and Set Boundaries

Another thing that you need to do is stand up for yourself if you feel as though someone criticizes, undermines, or even tries to control you. Setting healthy boundaries can start to break these hurtful bonds. If you can work on your own self-esteem, then this will help you to find the energy and confidence you need to cope.

If you want to seek support from our team for any kind of addiction, then please get in touch with us today. You can also use this contact form. We would be more than happy to give you the help and support you need to get through any issues you are experiencing.

Reach Out to Peaks Recovery Today

If you (or someone you know) are suffering from a mental health disorder or substance use disorder, then get help from Peaks Recovery. We offer both inpatient and outpatient services designed to let you restore your life to normality and build the future that you deserve.

Don’t wait. Get in touch with us today.