Episode 128

[Music] hey everybody and welcome to another exciting amazing and miraculous episode of Finding Peaks your host president founder and chief executive officer Chris Burns formerly known as recovery cheerleader I am joined today by a great friend of mine colleague professional recovery human Sparkle Lindsay so grateful to have you Sparkle how you doing it’s good to be here doing so good and you guys would probably be shocked to learn that sparkle and I have just been sitting here shooting the stuff for the last 30 minutes we haven’t even B we get the show going but I I cannot wait to highlight for the viewers where Sparkle was where she’s at today and where she’s going I think it’s a very powerful story of a lot of one days at a time and um she’s a Peaks alumni we’re in our 10th year celebrating our 10 year anniversary and Sparkle just celebrated 5 years in long-term recovery I mean I was just saying she’s been in recovery as long half as long as we’ve been in business right you know um just really really cool to have you here so thank you for joining us today my friend thank you for having me and I do think they probably think we talked longer than we should have anyway I’ve had a couple guests are like man they just don’t shut up yeah for sure um what I wanted to highlight five years ago in Peaks recovery you know the picture was a lot different we were Extended Care we’ve always been gender specific but I just kind of wanted you to highlight for the viewers you know what was it like where were you at what was it like kind of surrendering we talked a little bit about that before and making a commitment to walk through a wildly big authentic and robust recovery process you know uh for me being a the oldest of five I mean obviously I have three brothers and a sister I love them dearly um and all of us have this this past of being athletes and we all have full-right scholarships to play a sport and um we all played those Sports we all have degrees um and so being the oldest um they really looked up to me you know during that time so Pride was a lot of what was in my way um I talk a lot about you know in a lot of my YouTube videos being the fixer and uh I really realized later on in my recovery how intense being the fixer was to myself because I was fixing everybody else but me so this journey you know for me really started from realizing that I just couldn’t do it by myself I couldn’t do it by myself I thought I could um I tried multiple ways to get sober I kept secret so that I wouldn’t tell people what was wrong because I was Sur afraid of what people would think of me especially me being this this High intense executive um being a part of such a great family um um not even really looking like I even was a drinker or anything like that and just always holding myself to this standard this OCD this Perfection thing that I later on found out some of my wise to my usage you know and I just didn’t you know I really was like I don’t need treatment I can handle it I’m okay um you don’t worry about me I got you you know that whole I want to help everybody else but in all reality I was distracting myself from myself right and then before you know it I I mean there was just these moments where I was battling a form of chemo because I was diagnosed with lupus been diagnosed with five autoimmune conditions and at one point I was giv myself shots of tequila and taking shots of chemo to make it and I was like either way you could die so you’re doing them both yeah and I was getting I was just really sick and um for me so many different things happen right um I ended up in jail a few times um I had an employee kill himself in front of me um um and that I spiraled I spiraled and then after all of that when I thought I was going to be let go um I was brought into the office and um promoted to 125k and uh I just remember sitting in in the in the room that day because I thought I was going to get fired I was like take a few shot shooters and I’m going to just get out of here and I looked and the guy’s like turn it over you know and I’m like why these people look happy you know turned it over and they said 125k and uh everything got quiet all these people around me and they thought I was going to be ecstatic and I started thinking in my head I said well this could cover my addiction for real I could we’ll be all right we’re good you know and uh and then I started thinking like I’ve been telling these people that I haven’t been feeling well for a long time and they haven’t really been listening but the numbers were blowing up and uh I just said you know what I think I’m going to turn it down and I I I did you see how I’m doing my hand I’m still doing that right um and they’re looking at me like what and I said you know nothing is fun when you feel like you’re in a room yelling as loud as you can to a bunch of people and no one’s listening listening I said and if I take this money I’m going to die I said it may not mean that much to you cuz obviously I’m replaceable I said but no amount of money is worth my life so of course I get up and I’m like yeah you know I did good forgot what door uh I came through so that was fun I’m like this they’re like the right one and I’m getting a little tipsy cuz I took Shooters before I went in there and I’m like H so I get to the car and I’m like what am I gonna do well let’s just go to Blackhawk and let’s just spend money end up in jail so I end up in jail that same night same night end up in jail and I just remember sitting there and this voice came to me and it said no one’s coming no one’s coming and I was like I can’t remember one number I could not remember one number I could it didn’t matter we’re talking about someone with a photographic memory okay I could not remember is it 720 or 3 719 I could only remember the area codes but not the numbers no one’s coming and I sat there and I just asked myself what do you want out of your life what are you doing and so I actually was booked in there and uh I got an opportunity to see how it was to try to get out try to get numbers um all of the above and I started noticing some of the the women in there that I wanted to help and it was crazy because they thought I was a plant and I I remember going back into the room and being like they’re telling me I don’t even I don’t even fit here do you get what I mean like I actually was there MH but I didn’t fit yeah so I got out and I just remember my ex told me if you go get help you can’t come back here I’ll never forget it and so for a week and a half I sat there thinking about should I go to treatment should I not should I go to treatment should I not and one night 3:00 in the morning I threw everything out of my my car jumped in the car and made it to my grandparents house and I knocked on the door and I said I’m ready and I ended up because my aunt at the time my aunt Bonita she said she had uh talked to you and was like I don’t know what’s going to go on with my niece but she needs some help so I ended up at Parker Valley Hope and Parker Valley Hope is where me and her had this conversation this it was almost an argument I was like listen there are people who need my help out there and there are people who need me to help them and she said why don’t you just stay in your lane and I said listen my Lane is their Lane okay this is 30 days in right so I said people need to know and she said sparklet H stay in your lane right and I I I was fighting that and then 30 days went by and I started feeling really good and then I got sick with pneumonia and I was like huh well I I probably missed my time to go to Peaks recovery and since I’m sick and it’s been 30 days I’m sure I’ll be good you know and SM and I’m talking about it like you know I have plans to start a new career now and and I don’t need you know I don’t need another treatment center this is this is people just thinking I need help you know and uh I’ll never forget it I did my hanging the cup ceremony and they had speech you know you got to give a speech and I had already made plans to go camping with my ex and as soon as I was leaving we were about to go go have some fun okay so I’m sitting there I will cherish this moment and I was doing all these things and people were like she’s going to make it you know they were feeling it and I got so close to the door right I’m close to the door I got my bags and I’m like I’m home free right and I get out and all of a sudden I look over at my ex and I look over and I hear are you Sparkle oh my goodness and I was like what uh yeah peak’s employee with the big van the big van can’t get you oh your auntie took the luxury of making sure we could pick you up for your next treatment
I go I never heard that one okay I look over and then I look at her and I look at him okay and I got on the van so the drive there is just like I’m like how long am I supposed to be here and then I’m thinking I don’t I don’t have any money you know I’m thinking in my head I’m like am I a Bonita you know I’m like what a brat yeah and then when I talked to her she was like well I know myself she said so what do you want me to do and I was like uh thank you so so I get there and I’m fighting it for at least a month I’m fighting it I’m like I I think I’m good I don’t need to I walk in the building and I’m like wow this atmosphere is so relaxing um and then I was like and it’s so quiet and I I was like it’s this kind of worries me because there’s not anybody yelling my name or needing me or anything like this I don’t know maybe this actually might work you know that thought like maybe maybe this was a good decision but you’re well here I was scared you know what I mean um and so I walked in and you know the first the first person I meet my case manager uh Danny DOR and Danny was so nice you know she gave me hug and everything else and then I got right into talking about my career and how I have to leave after this um I’m probably only going to need about you know 30 days 30 more days I’ve already been killing it in the other spot I’m making yeah I’m a winner um here’s the resume um whatever you need okay and she’s like okay well if you could just come in I said well you know I want to make a few calls before and she’s like you can’t have your phone and I was like but there’s people who need me to make things happen so and she’s like I understand I understand I said I had to go do this I had to go do that I had to go do this and then she’s like okay so you were you were kind of like the doorm O and I was like come again and right there as quiet as it’s kept that comment right there changed my life forever ever it intrigued me to realize there’s something more to this and so for a minute I stood in her office and I was like I don’t really know if I want to be a part of this yeah and we ended up being the best of friends all through my five years even after and she checks on me every day checks on me daily just to make sure I’m okay and I’m on the same you know on that same that same road and also with running running my own business not being that yes person I can’t be um and not be be able to being able to maintain that balance is what Peaks really brought for me but they I mean PE you guys challenged us on so many different levels on levels that gave us an opportunity to do something with the tools that were given while we were there so it wasn’t like here’s some tools when you leave it was like let’s watch you put these tools into action before you leave and so before I even hit the ground running or even left or before we even got to the sober living phase my thought process was on a holistic level was on a mindset level that was like I know my program I know I feel safe and I know I’m going to be okay and the reason why is because I know that I can always come back here if I need to um and no one’s going to say anything you know and I also was really excited when I heard that a lot of the staff was excited to see what I was going to do next with the materials and the tools that were given for me to be the best version of me you know and then there was my first therapist I ever had Kelly herrow which was another one that was involved in a lot of my family stuff so she was that third party that was working with us as a family so that we could teach our families recovery but then they could understand my recovery at the same time and the support that was needed for all of us and so that session was pretty intense and I would say that was the first time I had cried in 13 years wow um and when that happened I went into almost pretty much almost stroke mode um and ended up in the hospital because I hadn’t cried in so long um and Kelly was there with me every step of the way all of you guys because I I was also battling a lot of you know condition everything comorbidity right um so once that happened though and uh I just I kept saying I’m going to go back I’m going to go back and then I just started letting it go you know I started letting it go and I started focusing on me and um I started realizing that I couldn’t give away something I didn’t have to begin with so how was I doing it for so long and that wouldn’t it be really cool to not do that anymore right so then I got on the table with Tammy Tam Tammy Romano for somatic experience love and that’s where we started focusing on the words I trust my body and my body started doing things it could had never done before I’m in remission from all five of my conditions that stuck with me forever as well so you had the therapy going on over here we were doing a lot of working out and just mindset work and then I started learning the the gift of processing and being able to process the things I was talking about on a deeper level yeah and that’s when I started to find
me I could say
that the moment I found out or have found out who I am everything has just moved the way it should and it took the doormat conversations and somatic experience and the growth from the inside out to build who I’ve become you know and uh forever grateful because the whole time I kept thinking all this access to me there was so much accessible I could do yoga I could watch TV I could eat good meals like there was so many things that made me and helped me to learn how to take care of me and with no judgment just to learn again to just make your bed again to create the routines again to start to believe in yourself again and I just knew I was with a great program um and then you know I even had I I even had that feeling of realizing even after I left I took this program very seriously um and some people didn’t but I was on scholarship and my family we didn’t come from a lot of money my dad always used to say I’m rich in love not money and so the whole time I was in treatment I was like how the heck am I going to pay for
every time something new would happen I’d be like oh God that’s another $100,000 and Chris you walk in and you go hey Sparks and then you leave and I be like okay no okay okay I’m all right and then after a while you guys were like just do just work on you we don’t care use it to the best of your V ability let’s go and uh I’ll never forget it I tried to go back home oh yeah and I got to the door of where I was at and I remember my ex opened the door and handed me a beer he said there’s more downstairs where that came from I remember being so scared look threw the beer up the thing ran to my car and I went back came back I think you even described the time when you went to the grocery store everything was and I said I’m not ready for this I’m not ready I’m not ready they handing me this the trying to do this for me I said I think it might be better if I stay in the sober living and um I had to ease myself into it and I ended up really never going back to that house again um I it ended up not being for me you know and even after I got out the support from Peaks the support from sober living then the after care right um Rachel from Peaks just talked to her as well she’s like oh my God you’re at five years you know um all of all of you guys played such a huge role in my life and I don’t even think how much you realized it um until like I started coming back and you were like she think she doing all right right now you know we hit one year you hit two years and you’re like okay she’s doing all right you know and then for you to get that call that’s like hey Chris I’m at 5 years today you were like wait what how that happened so it it was a very interesting process for me and I think not not only interesting it was just so humbling and it was um I have so much gratitude from it and I think even now just every day even having um some Peaks people in some of my courses and hearing them speak is reminds me of what I learned do you know what I mean and so when they hear me speak and then they’re like wait a minute it’s Peaks thing you and they’re like you went to Peaks huh I’m like I did you know and it’s a Peaks thing because of the way we talk about it especially with the holistic piece um being able to Center and ground ourselves body scans okay I hated those at first like y’all want me to be talking yeah I was like no Danny I’m not doing it you guys can do this on your own time I’m not doing it she’s probably ready to kill me by the end probably a few of them goodness and then on top of that like meditation I remember like meditating for like two minutes and then I’d open my eyes and I’d be like oh we’re still meditating like I I would forget it’s so hard you know so we did a lot of that a lot of walks a lot of working out and just a lot of being in secluded areas to hear ourselves see the difference is the gift of being and when you have nothing but silence but to sit with yourself and figure out what you’re actually doing it all makes sense it starts to come together but often times people don’t get time to do that and then when they do you’re it’s it takes you back you know that you you want to do something because you don’t want to sit with it and so the greatest part about being at Peaks is I was able to sit with it and feel comfortable because my surroundings were safe and comfortable so then and everybody else around me even the people that I was in treatment with they were processing and sitting with it too so it’s like we all were learning you know how to be and um that right there was probably it’s probably been one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever had is being able to sit in silence and do nothing you know and it’s really it’s Unique and that would have done nothing I said a body scan and sit in silence that’s that’ll be the the the Pinnacle of the experience but I think it’s you really speak to something that I think is very near and dear to my heart and that’s important I think for the recovery process and you talk about safety but then to get to safety we have to talk about things like settling and to get to things like settling we have to talk about environment right and I’ve always said about Peaks you know the one thing you’re going to experience here that you won’t experience anywhere else you can only feel you can’t see yeah you can only feel you’re talking about this place where we go into and even though Peaks has evolved it doesn’t matter what you know yeah but how much you care and the foot you’re putting forward and walking with these people and so I’m wondering today as you work with literally working with peak’s clients now what a lot of things have changed over the last 5 years but what is a commonality with the Peaks clients that you work with that share your experience because I was sitting with another guy the other day in our alumni program KJ mhm and he’s like it doesn’t matter if someone was in Peaks 10 years ago 4 years ago 6 years ago Sparkle 5 years ago me 5 months ago we sit down and we go oh it’s a Peaks thing yeah because here’s the thing we lean in with our feelings see there’s a lot of of things that I talk about and I say because of what we’ve learned whoever feels the most wins okay and then I heard somebody else in a podcast say to me Sparkle I’m not hearing what you’re saying I’m feeling what you’re saying said because order for us to actually consume what we have you got to fill it to know and often times that’s where we block right well that’s not that we’re opened up with this safety piece but we’re also open because it the the therapist and the people we work with really challenge us to go deep and actually identify with the feelings the whole process how are you feeling today what are we doing people think that stuff is funny but I ask myself how I’m feeling every day every second of the hour and check in with it because if I can identify with the power of my words through my feelings others feel me too and the difference is is I learned that because I realized how much I was running from my feelings my whole life and in all reality when I started leaning in with how I felt first people respected it better and you hear this everywhere you go from people who come from Peaks people who have worked for Peaks people who have went to Peaks we speak breathe and feel we feel our feelings and that’s what makes it different because that means we have a willingness to get deeper with ourselves every day you know and when you consistently do this and you’re consistently doing it in your after care and all of that stuff it’s a becoming of you it’s no longer a goal it’s an intent it’s an intention that becomes who you are changes the mindset and now you’re just filling you know and you’re doing what we used to do when we were younger that we shut down a long time ago but now which was authentic yeah it was our authenticity and then all of a sudden someone was like you cry I’m going to give you something to cry about right you know we’re done you’re done for a long time well all of a sudden here we are in the era of 2024 we’re feeling is what what it should be and where our younger people right now are doing all of that and it’s okay it’s okay and we know emotions are temporary not permanent so fill away because the next one’s coming I love that see it’s it’s this authenticity thing that actually it’s not required for recovery but I think it’s required to thrive in recovery oh absolutely and Peaks I think kind of pulls that it’s pulled it out of me over the years I mean you talk about sematic work I started that three and a half years ago oh my goodness I forgot that you were doing that with t yes I started sematic work with Tammy and then obviously you know for three and a half years I’ve shift into Quantum healing with my father Philip Lindsay so um you talk about the you talk about the gift of energy it’s a crazy thing you know um and just becoming one with yourself from within because there’s layers to this fillings thing right there’s layers of surrender there’s layers of empathy there’s layers of gratitude as you grow in your recovery right it’s it’s like you’re always going to go through the cycle of butterfly most of us think that when we’re in the Cocoon it’s the most uncomfortable time well it’s Ascension so when you’re ascending you’re uncomfortable right but what you’re doing is preparing yourself for the knowledge you need to transform yeah and then bam Here Comes transformation yeah and then here you go all over again and it’s a process that we have to learn and condition our minds to think and before you know it it’s just a becoming of us feelings empathy all of it that becoming of us is is so is so near and dear to what I do it in the recovery and I used to think it was just a recovery thing but I almost think like the whole world can afford to be in recovery and so I think it’s this life thing yes is that if we fortify our experience with some nice edges and some good goals they speak to something that has to continue yes and keep moving it’s not like you know today I’m feeling so connected with God myself and my fellow human that I can’t get any more connected yeah I’m bully connected that’s what I love about the way that you speak to this recovery process because it’s like I’ll go back to that eight how good can life get M I mean I mean and here’s the thing how good can life get and then how how not so great can it be too because when you’re when you’re dealing with the fact that you can embrace the good and the not so great and realize it is what it is it’s a beautiful thing because most people think that when you mess up it’s a bad thing have you ever thought that when you mess up it’s a great thing because now lessons are transpiring which means that you are growing and therefore you got to mess up in order to grow so why would we stop right and and I always tell a lot of you know I tell tell my coaches as as they’re going through their programs it’s not a about a using thing or a stop using thing it’s a living thing y how do you become a well-oiled machine mind body and spirit taking care of yourself first and illuminating your light to others so they see it it starts with you because you are doing it for you if you’re doing it for everybody else but you you’ve lost sight of the mission and and we have to remember that even as helpers now even as people who want to go out there and guide and give people the light let them find their light but show them your light by doing what you need to do in that action continue to feel continue to be your authentic self and step into your power you know and a lot of this comes from working with other people but it also comes from seeking to understand and remaining curious about who you are that’s that is so unique and that’s why I love I love how you branched out and open Sparkle LLC is because like if there could be an orientation at Peaks that we could like really but it would be that it would be just take great care of yourself and you’ll be exceptional yeah just going to be exceptional you’re going to thrive and there’s greatness written all over you but you have to invest yes every day every day and the thing is is that the investment becomes so fun because you fall in love with yourself all over again and this is what I say I challenge you if you haven’t fell in love with yourself or do so take yourself out on dates do things make yourself laugh I mean I got kicked out of a few Potter I got kicked out of a few pottery classes because I’m not an artist chuckling oh my God I saw my dad at the the pottery piece he said well how do you feel I said well I guess it was just the date that counted but they said I don’t really have to come back if I don’t want to good we love having you we loved it but it’s okay those parts I still to this day laugh at myself and love myself wholeheartedly for being able to spend time with me and embracing who I am so that I can teach people how to love me cuz now I’m starting to know what I want and how I want that done and what I want done in my life it means that anybody else who comes my way they need to know I know how to love me and in order for you to be in my realm and me to be in yours we have to teach each other how to love one another and we got to know from within first you know I really love your your recovery process it’s very it feels like a breath of fresh air you know it says we can it doesn’t say we can’t um it there’s no life sentence to anything except for quality of life improvements opportunity seeing ourselves clearly it’s it’s really cool because you’re able to move out within five years and do something that would have took 10 years ago 20 years to do because you’re anchoring into things that are so holistic sustainable and rooted in value from a foundational recovery perspective people feel that yes and they also feel and feel really good with self-reflection see everything that I’ve ever done and um one thing Peaks brought to me was the honesty and integrity with myself and I had to start getting real with me in order to figure out what needed to happen next and often times we don’t want to do that we want to distract ourselves you know but after a while when you start to learn the becoming of self-reflection you can’t help but speak that way so people respect that because you’re not talking about them you’re talking about you and when they realize that you have the audacity to talk about the things you need to do better it changes the way people look at things and it also changes the way you look at things it keeps you more mindful it keeps you empathetic um it it keeps you humble and it also it it consistently challenges you to surrender and that part right there is what people forget your surrender never stops once you say I need help you always need help and you should never be afraid to do that or ask for that especially because the first time was the hardest but once you continue saying I need help I need support those people just start to show and it’s because they need help and support too the people who are growing in this game right now and in this world with recovery or not just in this world are people who actually say hey I need help I don’t got this right and and and here it is I even do kind of got it but you know what a a second eye would be nice mhm just tell me what you see what’s wrong with that there’s nothing wrong with us reaching out to one another and saying hey two heads are better than one what do you see yeah we’re in this together and we are we’re all sober Warriors when you’re getting sober from whatever it is you’re getting sober from but when you’re able to consistently surrender and ask people for help and keep moving it gets stronger and stronger and those it’s like a burning ball that’s just gaining momentum and before you know it you’re just locked in and when you start to lock into how you feel your mindset and other people start to feel it it’s infectious and that is I would say that is what I have seen in my career now with having my own business right Sparkle LLC the light at the end of the tunnel I have seen I have seen amazing coaches come from a program that I I didn’t even know what I was doing at first I didn’t know what my vision was I just knew I needed to create it and uh 850 coaches later um I just watched them grow I watched them 850 later spark I watched them grow and I watched them get it and I watch them say I want to be better for me and I tell them it starts with you it ends with you and you can’t give away something you don’t have so got to be as strong as you can and you got to be as willing to make mistakes as you can and be willing to say I need help and then on top of that you got to be willing to say if I’m not okay then I don’t need to work with people right now I need to stick with me and all of this came from just for me a vision and I I feel like I took got the C car curriculum and and I really just started trying to make it my own and then started bringing in other things to make it mix and make it work and next thing you know I you know I’ve come up with a university and an academy for coaches where they can be great coaches they can grow they have a place to call home and uh they can continue to grow into the versions they want to be not all of them are going to be coaches for the rest of their life what do their advancement plans look like where do they need to go and if they have a place to call home they’ll continue to grow because they have a place just like I do here at Peaks that knows who I am and who values me for who I am and when you know you have a place like that there’s nothing that stops you that’s a I mean when you said 850 I I think to myself like that just one human one person who said you know what I’ll do this thing it’s uphill both ways yeah it’s uphill both ways and I remember you know people that have been there no but I I remember just being able to sit in these groups with you and I and I remember the time when you just let go and you get to experience with these people that are like your family that have been around for 360 hours of group with you and it’s these special moments that we get to share as people in recovery yeah where we’re all just we’re all just okay together and it’s one of the most beautiful things because they never thought it was possible well and it’s crazy too because when you leave and you see someone you were in recovery with some of the people that I was in recovery with I still talk to today they are still watching the program they’re trying to be a part of the program they’re like sparkle how you doing and they’re looking great you know what I mean and even some of those people that may have left and things didn’t go as well they reached out to me that made me feel good because they didn’t feel like I can’t tell nobody they said nah that’s that’s a peak sister right there I could call her and she’s going to she got my back regardless CU I don’t care it’s it’s a a non-judgmental approach for anybody who’s going through anything and I think a big portion of where we have went wrong but we’re starting to get better is the judgmental piece MH and you know being a recovery coach for four and a half years right and a facilitator and a motivational keynote speaker an author right um and then trying to do something different for those especially now at um that are coming up and and people are are more into their feelings and everything else and I’ve become very very much more spiritual um he just been wonderful watching people just soak up all of the goodness and I mean I can tell you now I I starting this business I I really didn’t I didn’t have much of anything you know I I started at Peaks at uh not Peaks recovery but Serenity recovery connection which was Springs recovery connection and I had some great mentors there Kathy plush Don Gillum my best friend chid limel um and we we went for it we went for it and was one of the best places I could have ever been cuz you mentioned it and you said hey Sparks I think you should check this out and I remember coming in gungho and there was I mean we created so many different things there that never existed the Justice settings the emergency rooms like we by the end I was like this is amazing and then I remember I remember it co co I had an interview that ended up with 28,000 views and and uh Kathy plush said to me Sparkle you need to speak she said you need to speak and I said you think she said I think and uh I remember telling her hey I I think that I’m going to go on ahead and take off I’m going to leave and I just see something more for me and she said hey if it’s easy take off she said I built this place for this to be a springboard for you to catapult into what’s next sure enough I got out there Chris and I was like I don’t know can I come back this is kind of hard you know and got my first books out there being a better me for me and uh it’s on Amazon and then I being a better me for me Amazon being a better me for me uhhuh the book in the workbook I turned it into a master class and then I started getting asked to speak more and and uh I said okay I think I got something but I had been facilitating and I noticed that like a lot of the coaches that were with me some of them weren’t making it yeah and I was like what you know I’m an HR executive for for big box companies I’m like okay we going to have to make some changes cuz if people are if the helper is not being helped we got a problem this isn’t this isn’t making sense and so I said you know what I’m I’m going to make the first coaches Hub a place where coaches can be successful coaches can get all the all the lectures the spe speakers coming in to their courses everything you can think of to shine and this is where they rejuvenate themselves this is where they call it so internationally um you know they they jump into these classes they get a chance to be State Certified and stuff but also have other master classes and stuff and speakers coming in that they can see once every two weeks and just really be a part of of my Coach’s Corner um and it’s it’s going it’s starting to hit International and everything else so it’s been good to see that there’s a bunch of coaches who can come together communicate to each other and uh just just cry and be open and talk about their recovery and know they have a place that they can talk about it openly without judgment so yeah you you I love what you did and I love what cavy did and I love springs recovery Serenity recovery connection it’s amazing process but you reminded me of one of our core values which is to disrupt the industry through quality of care oh yeah we don’t bring anybody on this show that sits in the status quo you know we bring leaders and entrepreneurs and Visionaries and miracles and we bring them in to tell the world that we can do better one day at a time together together and this is where people don’t think about the fact that Tammy rato I’ll never forget it I said I always thought of that term the strong black woman it always made me feel a lot of pressure and they always showed in on media like that and um we got to go going and I said she said what would you call it if you could call it something I said well I’m tired of people putting that cliche up there I said I’m a woman of many strengths you hold yours and I’ll hold mine and we’ll walk across the Finish Line together I said everybody deserves an opportunity to be a part of their recovery process or their life and if we allow people to do that and we walk with them we don’t interfere we just guide and they guide us and we have what we call people walking together to be kind and empathetic and understanding and help each other grow encourage each other and Enlighten each other step into your power together and go take what’s yours and when I say take it you take what’s yours because it’s written not because you got to take it from somebody else CU that’s somebody else’s stuff but what’s yours is for you and if it’s not for you it’s not going to be for you anyway you know so these things are I mean even the words that I’ve I’ve learned to that I’ve talked I don’t know I often ask myself where they came from because when I was younger I was like I’m going to be a speaker I don’t know what I’m going to talk about and now I can’t stop and and I feel like you know as my higher power channels through me and I speak from my heart I will speak as much as I need to to help people know they’re not alone that’s right and that people do care and people care about people care and also that it’s okay to care for yourself as well it’s not about caring for everybody else but you and you end up last no we can all cross this Finish Line together so it’s been very interesting I find myself uh having a lot of uh transformation moments in the classes uh with coaches and you can feel uh the coaches Rising you feel their vibration taking off and it just feels like an army of people being kind and loving and disrupting things because of that not because they need to be mean or upset it’s because from the inside out they care and you get enough of those people around you change the world you change the world you know yeah I’m so grateful that I get to sit and Recovery with you CU it’s like this authentic perspective like you know we go into this world from 20 to now and things are all sort places intense but we know being in recovery like there’s this Mission and this vision and this opportunity yes we get to thrive together and I love what you said because it’s been one of the greatest Gifts of my career you know when I started off 16 years ago it was about what I knew and what you didn’t have and you needed to follow me and you just said something that’s so profound it’s like I can remember a moment when I had a heavy phone in my hand and I didn’t think anybody cared mhm and what you said is so profound because all I wanted to know was that there was people willing to walk with me yep they didn’t even yeah they didn’t have to say here we’re doing it this way cuz if they would have dragged me I would have been like leave me alone anyway it was the fact that they said how can I help you with your recovery today how can I help you find a job today how can I just ask what you can do to help you’d be surprised how many people will look at you and be like wait you you want to help me me and I’ll tell you as soon as you say yeah we in this together it’s your journey I can’t do it for you but I will walk with you and I don’t care what happens I’m here they immediately start to feel like I can do this and you watch people transform into something they never thought they could be and they look back at you and realize that it was all them it’s all there and that right there is like I’m doing it yeah right and then that for you as a coach Co or as a helper or even for yourself looking probably at me is this they’re doing it and they’re okay and they’re going to continue down that Journey that they need to because they have a routine they remember how they were done you know it’s like um when you if you start and you’re a coach and you start with a A young team and you guys start with the fundamentals the basics and you continue working and flowing and everybody’s starting to go all of a sudden their layups start getting better all of a sudden their jumpers start getting better and then by the time they grow up together it’s a team and that’s exactly how we did this in our Peaks recovery and and we did it as a team and we still worked on our individual things but everybody was still learning about themselves which means that most of the people who leave Peaks they have that mentality of team that’s why they’re okay with coming back if they have to yeah that we thing yep it’s a we thing not a you thing you know what I mean we had to learn how to get those interviews like well I had 100 points you know it’s a we thing and after a while that we thing it’s it’s a bond that you will never ever lose with someone who knew you on such a vulnerable level and most teams that win the championship they know each other vulnerably enough to to block for each other or cover for each other to the point where they’re just a well oiled machine and that’s that’s really what recovery is about and that’s that’s what it’s about when you bring in your engagement of the community you know yep you’re hitting the player at the spot before they even move yeah it’s a beautiful thing like we know we’re yep yep you know the dishes exactly like you know when we started Peaks recovery 10 years ago and it was one of those things where it’s like hey if we can come into the Colorado Springs Community and help a couple people yeah that would be amazing and I’m I’m just I think the right word for it is humbled and then and then maybe secondly would be honored MH to sit with you today absolutely um these experiences are just 24 hours at a time the Capstone of my recovery existence and the fact that we get to walk together and connect with family community and culture and this enriching process is not only a miracle but very very special right the last question I wanted to ask you is as we swing into this 10 years it’s like what does it mean to you to be a part of because you’re you’re a significant part of this 10y year anniversary this celebration this momentum forward um with helping people that don’t have the opportunity to help themselves and you you have a big big part of that and a big presence in our community and what does that mean for you personally and professionally you’re going to make me cry again um I would
say I am so proud of what I have accomplished in my
life I was in a real real real dark spot um and I would say that everybody that I’ve ever had in my corner nobody ever gave up and I think that uh the supports I had the love I’ve had the conversations I’ve had the fun times I’ve had like it’s crazy because I used to think about the things that went wrong or what I needed to fix and when I hit five years the only thing I could think about was everything that’s going right and I think uh sometimes we get going and and we’re we’re moving and grooving and we’re helping and we’re doing these things but then after a while you stop you know every Milestone Kelly taught me that you celebrate and I remember looking outside the window and I another voice came to me and it said congratulations on your five years you don’t want to miss this it’s on me to stay in the present moment stay in that present moment focus on what we have today and allow the days to come to us as we may and even since 5 years I’m 5 years three months sober I have not everything just is what it is and I feel like even some of the things that used to drive me nuts even about this business and just where to get started I’m like God if it’s your will let it be done and he is doing it and I think when you know that things are are happening and they’re written you don’t fight it you just go with it and I feel like there’s so much more left to happen out here and I feel like growing in my recovery CU 5 years is still pretty early um I would say that growing into myself and into my recovery but into this new phase of living it is so exciting and the expansion and the way the vividness I mean I’m just so grateful to be here and see what’s probably been here the whole time but I wasn’t ready to receive it and now that I’m here I’m like let’s freaking go there’s no like it’s it’s you’ve I’ve worked through through the past and now I’m consistently working this thing and I’m on I’m ready to go and I just think for me it’s I’m grateful for it and I know this what my past was doesn’t Define me but who I am right now is Sparkle Lindsay I’m a woman in long-term recovery that’s the only thing I care about the rest of the stuff is going to happen and then it’s not but one thing that’s always going to change is me as long as I believe in who I am and also continue to keep beautiful wonderful supports around me and I’ve noticed that every step of this company every step of what I’ve been or who I am there’s always been somebody my legs to the table obviously that’s my book coming out there’s been somebody from my legs to the table there to hold me up and realign me and I’m okay with that and I think that when you become that person who’s okay with not criticism but growing and and learning and you know that there’s people around you who hold you in their hands and in their arms there’s power and numbers because of that so I would tell you now I feel very very powerful from within and I feel like stepping into my power is just starting to happen and I also feel like this place for me Peaks recovery it always has a place in my heart because I was a pretty tough person to crack but right off out the gates it was like we don’t care if you come here or not if you want to come here for yourself we got you but if not then we don’t and I found that so astonishing that you guys just owed people to recover when they wanted to and so that’s the part for me and it didn’t matter how long it may have taken it was more like what do we need to do to help Sparkle move forward and it was always on an individual basis um and it always has been and and also the fact that you would come in and have those those stories or those conversations with us in the mornings when we have to have our groups and you’d I’d hear a story from it and each time time I became more empowered um by hearing that and realizing like this journey is just getting started and so even now um when I get to be here with this 10e anniversary it’s so surreal because I see people coming up I see you guys still doing very well I see so much movement and churn and it just feels good to know you guys are still standing and I think um first and foremost I am honored to even be on this show as well because um it it s it surprises you you know that time and I didn’t realize that you guys were at 10 years either so um when my aunt said uh Sparks this this is pretty big I was like of course it’s huge I was like this is huge you know you think about Jason’s and Laurens and just all of these people and they’re still around and still seeing them and then watching that sparkle in their eyes where they see me and they’re like she’s still doing okay you know what I mean and all of it is just like bringing back family you know so I say for me this is the most surreal and it and it’s also just it’s just one of the greatest blessings to know that you’re sitting here in a place where you were at your worst but you’re also in a place where you are right where you need to be and it’s still right here with Peaks recovery right still here now worst best where you need to be it’s it’s uh it’s it’s it’s full circle and it’s just so amazing to be able to walk with you on this journey and I talk to people a lot in early recovery and we’ll leave we’ll leave people with this it’s like we have this opportunity and we know very near and dear to our hearts that it is an opportunity right in front of us every day is this we’re going to change the world one day at a time yep when I line up right like so I do Jiu-Jitsu I’m not very good but I’ve been doing it 16 months um but when I line up across somebody regardless of what training they put in I you haven’t sat with the people and walked with the humans in the way that I have over the last 16 years and that’s a problem right a good problem right you know and so I’m grateful to know you as a sister a friend a colleague a professional and somebody that’s rocking and changing this world one day at a time my friend Sparkle lindsy LLC what is your website uh Sparkle lindsay.com Sparkle lindsay.com check her out check out all her stuff she’s speaking all over the place she’s putting out a lot ofi information that’s taking off like a wildfire Sparkle thank you so much I appreciate you we love you I’d say this I’m I’m pretty honored I think we uh we still got a whole lot of work to do out there so we’ll just keep we’ll keep taking it one day at a time one step at a time in the present moment and we won’t look back that’s right thank you so much until next time peace [Music]
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